Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary

Its a rough life for the boys and girls of the cabin.

Monica (last name unknown), a wee mite of a Sartosan cabin girl, was captured by slavers and killed by Skaven.

Daft Little Tommy sailed from old Marienburg. He died trying to make his fortune.

Their bones carpet the Cave of the Damned.

Senorita Bonita Ramirez, late of Estalia, was burned to a crisp by magical flames in Sartosa's old town. She's ash now.

The mysterious Jose was chopped up by an Ogre in Slippery Jack's Cave.

Leecher, the censor bearer, encountered the Fallen for the last time in Ossomunte.

Mad Snaroose fell the same night, in the same fight, and that just ain't right.

(The Fallen, an Undead warband, kill 3 heroes in one week. Leecher and Snaroose now shamble with the horde.)

Here's to you, Dorfbrugel, favoured dreg of the Vampiress Lady Soraya.

You saw her run forward into the midst of the Skaven throng to retrieve a shard of precious Wyrdstone. You saw her quickly fall to massed sling fire, and I felt that sting of empathy when she rolled a 6 and was taken Out Of Action.

But you shouldn't have reacted in haste. With anger in your heart, you leapt across the gap to retrieve the Warpshard. With tears in your eyes, you mis-calculated the distance you needed to leap. With a genetic deficit in your chromosome count, you failed the initiative test and fell a full twelve inches into a shambling mass of zombies.

My opponent laughed, Dorfbrugel. He laughed at me for a full ten minutes before declaring that he would permit you to be resurrected, on the spot, as a zombie. I declined his offer, stating "that wouldn't be fair, zombies are better than dregs."

RIP Dorfbrugel of Strigany. May your iniative tests in Heaven be more favourable than this one.

Senorita Conchita, another Estalian Cabin Girl, killed down on the docks of Sartosa.

Dark Elf Sorceress, name unknown, killed by da Red Banna Boyz for desecrating the Bliddy Red Banna.

Leecher II was killed in the Cave of the Damned by a nun.

Another Skaven hero of less repute fell close by.

Ms. Shurley, a Wastelander mate, was killed while on guard duty in Old Sartosa. Anarchy reigns.

Borack Firestarta, orc shaman, was foully murdered in Ossomunte. His body shambles on with the Fallen.

Leecher III was killed by a Norseman on Sartosa's docks.

Dead Leecher I, the zombie-monk, disappeared in the Skull Sands. Leecher is not a lucky name.

To Wazpax and Rex, goblins who BRAVELY led their beloved squigs to a glourious death, to allow Da Boss (Daskar Beardburna) to escape with all the Wyrdstone shards. The blast of handguns and blunderbusses from the stoic, stuntie enemy laid down all but Wazpax and Chompsies; who bought another round for the escaping heroes and severed the arm of the Trollslayer before their defeat. Chants of "Green is best!" could be heard throughout Mordheim that night, as more henchmen flocked to join Daskar's Knuckledustas. Revenge was sweet. To Rex, Madchewah, Stuntiemuncha, Spittah, Likkity and most importantly Wazpax and Chompsies

Warrior Priest Grimmig
Formerly of the NachtJägers. Killed by Cultists during a raid on their strong-house, after righteously incinerating their heretical demagogue.

Righteous Incineration is a dangerous line of work.

Have you ever noticed that the REALLY COOL minis bite the dust first?

I had thought that, I assumed it was because the owner wants them to perform as well as they look so they are always in the think of the action!

Same with freshly painted models in their first game!

Warrior Priest Grimmig II
Formerly of the NachtJägers. Pounced on by Ghouls in a dark alley - knocked insensible by them, then Knifed to death by a Dreg.

Zealot Hoch
Formerly of the NachtJägers. Died trying to defend Grimmig the Warrior Priest... unsuccessfully obviously (see above).

Cadic Haymanson
Chaplain of the Marksmen of Stirwood was stabbed to death by a Dark Elf on a Sartosan street. His fellows repaired to the Blow Hole for the wake.

Week 2 of the campaign the competition is on:
Brek Harken
LGT Marksmen. Didn't even make it one full game as a Hero. Guess he was a little overconfident with his abilities.....

Fell Blade Innra
Killed by High Elves on the Pirates Current. (High Elves got 2 that week...)

Week 3
Rogan Kendarson
The Bandit Leader died by the sword of one of the one the evil Dark Elves.

Cookie Wassis
Bocun and Cul'nary Nabob of the good ship Smasher was killed by Dark Elves in Sartosa. (Dark Elves have killed 3 heroes in 3 weeks. Stirlanders have lost a hero every week.)

Week IV
Playtable goes for the tie. The Marksmen and Dark Elves both have lost 3 heroes in 4 weeks.

Russa
a Dark Elf Fell Blade. Killed by the Stirwood Outlaws known as the Marksmen somewhere out in the Osso Hills.

Farkiller
An LGT Shade, Farkiller was shot by a High Elf. The presiding magistrate ruled the death a hunting accident since both parties were taking part in the Great Fall Wolf Hunt sponsored by the Elders of Ossomunte. The death of another Dark Elf Shade during the same hunt was ruled a coincidence.

Fishgutz and Salty Ogbad
Formerly of the Ogresun.
Both shot down in cold blood as they (once more) attempted to clear a building of the Merrie Men.

In payment for a bill long-owing Maid Marrion was the one who dealt the killing arrow to Fishgutz!

Dubloon Dreg and Dirty Morgun
Formerly of the Ogresun.

Dubloon Dreg was killed in an unfortunate, but predictable, argument with his shipmate Scupper Lug. Dirty Morgun was only a Goblin, so no-one cares that he was killed by a swarm of Snotlings.

Granny Nog
Shaman and navigator of the good ship Smasher. Shot and killed by an elf ranger while out for a stroll in the Osso Hills.

The orcs have lost 2 heroes, both shamans. Power is dangerous.

My Shamans suffer disproportionately high death rates as well. It's a not easy being a conduit for all that Waaagh! energy...

Throg and Scupper Lug
Formerly of the Ogresun.

Throg was slaughtered by the evil hit-woman known as "Made" Marion. She shot him from a far-off hiding place with some kind of top-secret, rapid-firing, high-powered, probably telescopic, super-bow. The number of arrows in the fat bugger is hard to believe.
*Sniff*
One minute he was there, the next he wuz gone. Wrecks, his pet Dog-Fish-Squig, misses him terrible and won't stop howling.

Scupper Lug was shot in the back by The Binnacle Yard gang, while arguing with a shipmate.

Hollend Pol
a talented archer, late of the Marksmen of Stirwood. He was killed by a Dark Elf in the Osso Hills.

Chadwicc pulls back into the lead.

Master Reginald

Bane of heretics & once leader of the Stark Fist of Removal, felled by a Dwarven Trollslayer given unnatural speed through the dishonorable use of performance-enhancing alchemy. His pistols failed him, providing all a lesson in the folly of trusting in devilish contraptions. Surviving members have vowed to put their faith in good Imperial steel instead.


Sergeant Godfrey

Also shot down by Dwarves. Was found to be in possession of a heathen charm, which obviously failed him just as he has failed his comrades and his faith.

Loki Borsson the mighty slayer

died in a terrible massacre involving 7 possessed surrounding him. Since Loki was a big slayer to begin with his fenomenal strength and a trip to the pits to fight a prized pitfighter he gained even some evil skills as blackblood. With two huge dwarf axes twirling around his number of attacks was unheard of.
It was a heroic death between those evil champions of chaos taking along a truckload of the possessed with him.

In our scenery a shrine for Loki can be found. One of the first scenario's played, made the other slayers silent for a moment in commemorating his death, seeing their own heroic deaths before them.

Kaptain Fängmorder and Zealot Mummfisch
Both formerly of Da NachtJägers.

The famed Kaptain of those strange and unusual Orc Witch Hunters has fallen in battle with his hated enemy, the Skaven. In a vicious battle that took place in the streets of Ragil, just up the coast from Vercuso, the Hold Rats carved a swathe through the Witch Hunters' ranks. Both Mummfisch and the Kaptain were killed instantly, while many of their companions were wounded and just five of them fled back to Vercuso unharmed!

Hymns and a service dedicating their green souls to Sigmork will be held at The Old Temple, near the Ship Yards, and a wake will follow at the Cod and Cutlass Inn.

Wyrd Doc 4Eyes
Shaman and Navigator of the Smasha was killed and eaten by a Cold One in the Lustrian jungle. "Burp," was all it said.

Marley V
Was a Skeleton Mate, the fifth with that name. Mad Grootka put him down with a crossbow bolt.

N'ella
an Amazon Champion was killed in an ambush.

The Weakest One
an un-named acolyte of the Necrarchs was crushed and eaten by a giant constictor.

Scythe
one of the Charnel Guard was attacked, killed and eaten by a Cold One. There were two, but Scythe only saw one...

The Vampire Coast takes a toll.

A heroic ghoul named Boris is dead. Yaotl the saurus Totem Warrior bit off his head!

Lamar, a Shadow Stalker acolyte of some distinction was killed by the Evil Doers in the ruins of Axlotl. The Evil Doers are not kidding around. Lamar's faithful lackey Daniel was killed nearby.