Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary

Davespaceman wrote:

In death a member of Raziels court has a name his name was Robert Paulson

Bob an innocent man going about his daily business never harmed a soul in his life was set upon and Murdered! by a band of vicious, villanous, voracious, vexatious, vile halflings. (fancied a bit of alliteration)

Poor Bob

zelophahad wrote:

Bob had it coming - he was after the halflings' dinner!

The Beanbag wrote:

A faithful servant to the knightly courts, Sheldon - expert pikeman and stickbladder player - died from a bloody big club round the head.

*Innocent whistling*

Marley #4. A Ghost Pirate Skeleton Mate took a crossbow bolt to his left eye-socket. Now his sight is gone in both eyes, so he sits and clacks his teeth as a part of a Wal-mart Halloween exhibit.

OH GOD...NOT WALMART! What a TRULY tragic end!

Achmed Meatsack, KIA by a Battle Monk emnissary, 22-08-09
Achmed Meatsack II, KIA by a crossbow bolt, 23-08-09

the Bremen meeting took some ogres, but they didn't go down without a fight

Sascha the Ostlander Magician, sadly taken out by Sascha himself in a rude act of random violence... totally uncalled for....

Then again, a hero without skills shouldn't march into the northern wastes..

Wrydtoof Hogbreff, former navigator of the Ogresun
Squished flat by Fillkeema the Ogre Chief when he wasn't supported by his shipmates.

Stormy Trug, former Kabin Grot of the Ogresun and
Dubloon Dreg, former Deck Hand of the Ogresun
Both "Ogred to death" on the same evening.

TRAGIC LOSSES ALL, but Wyrdtoff was like an Old Friend...we both had LOUSY taste in companions .

Granny Faddock DEAD...say it ain' so!

Death in the Leafy Green:
A Totem Warrior named Tereis died on a dark night on a lonely jungle trail.

An Amazon champion named Archippe was eaten by a Cold One.

3 of the Tilean wenches known as the Trulls provided sustenance for Cold Ones on the same night.

Rotgut and Swilla, orc boyz, walked into the fog, but will no walk no more. Cain't find dey legz.

Death and Undeath on the Big Blue:
A skeleton was hacked apart as his mates boarded Da Gut Bucket. The hip bone no longer connects to the thigh bone...

Snagg the goblin met the wrong end of a rusty cutlass defending the Bucket's aftcastle.

Salty Oggbad
Former Second Mate of the Ogresun
Barnacle Nog will miss you mate! *sniff* He'll pour some rum overboard in ye memory, ye scurvy blackguard!

Walker Plank, Former MidshipGrotz of the Ogresun and Dubloon Dreg II and Bilge Badlug, Former Defaulterz of the Ogresun
None of you gitz will be remembered, ye useless lubbers!

*sniff*

In the jungle the quiet jungle...
Orethis, an Amazon Scout, is killed by a Trull from Tilea. Those Tilean babes hates those half naked Amazons!

Clubba Loon and Shagger were a likely pair of orc ladz. Gooba and hiz Red Fangs cut 'em down in a diss-pute over mules. Lucky dey wuzna hung.

Schlotz #1 - Joins in the fight between an Amazon and a zombie teammate only to be knocked down, fall an inch down a hill, go out of action and then roll a dead result post game.
Zombie - dies

Schlotz #2 - dies, don't remember how.
Another zombie and a skeleton warrior are destroyed by the Daemon Guardian of the River Temple,

A cigarette smoking, one eyed, coffee drinking Monkey...a PERFECT COMPANION!

Capsize Naz
New recruit to the Ogresuns, but an old, experience deckhand and pirate who'd probably seen a fair bit of action before he joined our crew. Who knows, he never got to tell us any stories down the pub after a fight.

Murderised by sneaky Skaven in Cheapside on his first day ashore.

zelophahad wrote:

Granny Faddock

Turned up, look pretty, got killed.

Debatable .

Qutal the Fearless, a Skink Greatcrest fell in battle, hacked by rusty blades and torn by pitted talons. Now his body stalks the jungle paths, his shining swords gripped in lifeless hands...

A Bad Day for Totem Warriors
Raaza of the Jaguars, he who wore the Pendant of the Old Ones, was killed by Cookie Wassis.

Quik Bil wuz cut up by dat Raaza, fore Cookie rubbed 'im out.

Tereis II, a totem warrior was killed by Trulls in the ruins. Thermedosa, the other totem warrior was attacked after the battle, killed and eaten by a Cold One.

Bakida, an Amazon warrior, killed by Lizzards in the Place of Silent Stone.

Pressganger Jak murdered by that rottin' git, Melderzhus.

Derek the Dwarf Noble. A FULLY experienced lad. You'd think he would have learned enough to turn around when confronted by an orc weilding a great axe. His beautiful gromril armour hadn't saved him yet, and it didn't save him this time either. Leave it to an orc not to hesitate when the poor dwarfs back was turned.

His peg legged replacement Maury the Slayer was found dead a week later. Crushed to a pulp from the aspirations of an ogre.

In the Jungle:
Totem Warrior Akanthia was killed by Nameless da Troll. Burp.
Grog Soppa was overwhelmed and killed by jungle vermin called by the Pale Moon's Priestess.
Ganger Sot ran into the wrong end of a sword.

Amid the Ruin:
Big Chief Gooba was killed and eaten by a Cold One (after being crushed a bit by a giant constrictor...)
7 Dripping Fang warriors preceded their chief into Hel. Victims of the Snake known as da Squisher and skink poisoned arrows.
A Kroxigor was killed by the Trulls.
An amazon warrior was murdered and MoAka (the pygmy) died of his wounds.

On a Lonesome Dock in a Foreign Town:
Cutta Rip got cut an' ripped by Trulls. 'E's na more.
Dull Snik wuz rubbed out by smugglers, da buggers!

In memory of Morbo, the extremely hardened and one-eyed magister. He was known for pulling hankerchiefs linked together out of his eye socket in an attempt to lure people to chaos. On occasion he yelled obsenities very loudly in an attempt to kill people. He died heroicly fighting a a young gryphon.