Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary

The Other Josh wrote:

He was known for pulling hankerchiefs linked together out of his eye socket in an attempt to lure people to chaos.

If only Archaon had known the trick before attacking Middenheim.... those damned handkerchiefs are the damnation of many pure souls... so hard to resist the temptation....

The mutant "Eyes";
Had three eyes,
all open wide,
now resides,
with eyes wide shut.

To Bob, brethren of the Brotherhood of the Animaniacs,
Only the good die young, so no one expected you to.

To Bob Jr., son of the late Bob, with you ends the line
of the most worthless family to ever walk the streets of
Mordheim.

The Reiklander "Blazer" was disembowled by a possessed,
his last meal was 3 strip of bacon one slice of bread, and
a bowl of porridge, all returned to his warband for reuse.

The Nameless Man - Protagonist of an untitled poem circulating about the Empire. According to its verses, he was shot by an elf.

He WILL be missed...whoever he was .

Andy wrote:

The Nameless Man - Protagonist of an untitled poem circulating about the Empire. According to its verses, he was shot by an elf.

but that was only after, he was beaten up by some orks, and then tenderised by some barbarians...

Tricky Tarka the first.
Devious git and Shaman of the pirate junk Gloomwyrm.
Survived being shot by Gladewood Bow but got killed by a bunch of clowns as he tried to rush through their territory.

Several Crew of the Gloomwyrm
Expendable and unrecorded, the scum of the seven seas. They will be replaced.

Modessa--a curvy but crazy doxie whose devotion to Sigmar did not save her from Nameless da Troll.
Videssa--Modessa's crazier sister. Tried to follow too closely in her sister's footsteps. Killed by Beastmen (or was it Skaven.)
Moe and Larry. Fellow flagellants, comrades of the 'Dessas. Nameless killed Moe. Larry tangled once too often with Kaptian Grootka.

Slow Nerg--Slow wuz. Den 'e wuzna. Ogre got 'im.

May the Reanimated Ones rest in peace...or pieces as the case may be.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Mung-Qi
Fearsome Orc pirate captain of the Gloomwyrm and badly-dubbed hero of Cathay.
Impaled and eviscerated by a Vampire's Halberd then re-animated as a shambling zombie!

Oh, the dishonour! Oh, the shame! Oh... the revenge that is due!

OH NO! SAY IT AIN'T SO, Saul...oh well, at least no more migraines.

I'm not sure about that - do you think Zombies suffer from Migraines?

He will return in this campaign though - I'm going to hire a normal Orc Boy and call him Mung-Qi (and wish REALLY hard for Ladz' Got Talent!)

Oy Boss! Dat's gotta hurt! Hope you have a full report to chronicle his fate. Dave's doing well with the uber zombie spell. Are you going to make him the zombie model?

Best of luck with the new hire as well.

On a related note;
Snik da Backstabba--he kill da mean Hunta dog. He fight da Hunta Doxie. Kill her too. Grootka no say "Snik a likely lad. Make ol' Snik da Mate!" No Kaptain Grootka say "Snik uppity. Kill da git!" An' dats wot da boyz did.

Toppa Knot--lost a fight wit da Hunta Krazies. Grootka need a new top man.

Pit Fighter yell "ye cain't hit me! Ye cain't hit nuthin'!" Quik Bil put dat arra in Pit Fighter's heart. Pit Fighter yell no more.

Granny Nog--a kind hearted old witch, was shot and killed today by a Tilean.

Quik Bil--was a bit slow. Ogre got 'im.

Rigga Top--his feud with Fass Jobba iz ovva. Prince Edward (the Pit King) split his skull with a great sword. Messy.

Ragshot--done to death by magic arrows. They was silver and old Rag just had to have one. Stuck in his ticker.

The Herd has a couple of bad weeks:
Makmar, the Flyin Goatfing was killed in a duel with Kaptain Grootka down in old Qwayside.

Shagla the Backstabber Benthorn fought Nameless da Troll for the last time. Nameless burp!

Shacrag the Centigor was shot by the same git that killed Granny Nog.

The Main Event Gang attend a funeral of their own:
Gromlinson the Troll Slayer lost a duel with Cookie Wassis

鱼胆

The legendary Yu-Dan, Fishgutz of the mysterious east.

Died as his lived, in a whirling spiral of ornate steel blades.
His heavily scared head was caved-in by the great two-handed stone club of Uhg-ug-ugg, the Savage Orc Boss.

Tuna may be fed to a (possibly prehistoric) cat in celebration.

A dead Troll Slayer is a successful Troll Slayer...smelly, but successful.

Bad news comes in 3s.

Grootka, Kaptain of Da Seahog, Da Drake and Da Gutbucket was brutally killed as he lay helpless. He tried to recover from slipping in a pool of blood and taking a fall, but a passing git with a grudge killed him out of hand. 'Tis a cruel and heartless world.