Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary

Hohepa was a Warrior Dancer of the Mu'au'ri tribe. He was possessed of great courage and had consumed the flesh and mana of many foes. He danced the great sacred Haka known as the "Dance of Strength". Maybe he should have learn the "Dance of actually hitting his enemy". He was slain by a Professional Hunter by the name of Melchior by a sword through the face.

His Mana and flesh was consumed by his brother Hunapo the Heart Eater.

Baz'nok, a Black Orc of the renowned 'Ard Knokkas was consumed by a pack of giant rats while crossing an ancient Old One bridge somewhere in the jungles of Domingo or perhaps Hispania. The ladz are never sure.

Babiars, the Bragart, the first mate of the Dancing Cloud got his skull crushed by a big green club. His killer is the vile orc shaman known as 'Eadbasha.

Captain Quinton, a Reiklander born and bred, died under mysterious but explosive circumstances during a raid on the pirate port of Torktuga. His mates vow revenge... on someone...or something.

Tydus the Second, a Black Skaven of dread Clan Eshin, was done to death by Farouk, a stalwart janissary in the employ of the Faithful. Tydus is not a lucky name.

The Lad named Leon was shot down while on Safari in the Southlands by mercenaries from the province of Reikland who ambushed them as they approached an oasis that rumors say had healing properties. The healing properties were not enough to save poor Leon. The eager youngblood who fired an arrow into Leon's face has become choice game for many within the Safari.

Skar Pa -

Respected brother in blade of Bo Djit. Did what his brother couldn't and paid the ultimate price.



Skratchee

Pack partner of Itchee. Was eaten by a bear in her first outing.

If he could have gained Xp he would have been my biggest killer, unfortunately he was denied the chance and 210gc just shambled away from the Harriers. Critically wounded by a hired pit fighter it was all too much for the Rat Ogre and he upped sticks and left.

Mattius Caboteur
Formerly Hired sword Celestial Warlock of the Ogresun.

Shot in the head by a Skaven Cultist while performing an occult rite, to his doom. The resulting explosion opened a hole in reality which let a Plague Bearer through from the Realm of Chaos. Not a great day.

Fishgutz (the Second) - Formerly of the Ogresun
Poisoned by foul magicks of Skabius the Plague Priest.
This unfriendly, selfish and dislikeable member of the Starboard Watch will be missed by his shipmates... but only because he owed money or drinks to all of them.

Oh, and some Warlock died too. Don't recall his name.

Lak'n Gunz was a right scrapper and no mistake. The lad would fight anything at da drop of a hat an' he would drop da hat hisself! So it was a right shame dat humie lubber skewered Lak'n with dat big pig sticka. Iffen da humie woulda cracked Lak'n on da noggin', Lak'n woulda done fer him an all. As it were, Lak'n had a 'ard 'ead, but da young 'un had a weak heart!

Da 'Ard Knokkas was some put out fer a couple of minutes, but deys ovva it.

Von Kurst wrote:

The lad would fight anything at da drop of a hat an' he would drop da hat hisself!

Good lad!!

Alas, poor Mario...
Bravely fighting in front of a line of Miraglean heroes raining death upon the imperialist Reiklanders, Mario Carsican, famed duellist and loving brother, was cut low earlier this evening. The cunning Seymour Butts (it's my sixteen year olds band, give me a break) brought his cursed hammer down upon the dazed and knocked-down head of the unsuspecting Mario.

He is survived by his brother, Lucien Carsican, who felt every blow, and spent the rest of the evening drowning his headache.

In a fit of revenge, four members of the Reiklanders were killed as retribution by Alecto and his Hunters.

For a minute there I thought they were the Mario brothers, then I realized my mistake... Miragleans versus Rieklanders sounds like a good match up.


Casualties from Turn 8

Quote :

The Litter Bearer Bono, who was a childhood friend of Cousin Date, was run through by a Berber scimitar. His dying wish was for one of his Yojimbo, Kiyogaru, to take his place amongst the leaders of the group. (Bono died, one of the Martial Artists got Lads Got Talent)

Mate Vandergriff, a veteran officer from the wilds of the Wastelands became seperated from the crew and is feared dead. The lads found some bloody bones and a boot. Looks like a Cold One got him.

Cold Ones 3, Heroes 1

Blackspot and Fetch - Formerly of the Ogresun
The only two surviving members of the Starboard Watch fell yesterday.
They were both killed in an engagement that left over half the pirate crew battered and bruised, including Deffgit and Mr Whalebelly. Those ratmen have got a lot to answer for!

Ya gotta watch those rats every minute.

Da Bomma, aka Da Loon and Da Winged Git, was a zany fool. Da Bomma was mindless of his own or others safety. He loved his catapult, flying and any landing he could hobble away from. Da Bomma was reduced to cinders by the Fire of Gork or some such duppy fing while idly circling Torktuga at a low altitude. Some gits were sick afterward having gotten his ashes in their grog.

Quote :

Captain Kaine went down doing what he loved.  (Which was apparently biting off more than he could chew.)  However, his protege, Captain Junior, has taken on the mantel of leadership and promises to lead his crew to greater glory!  (I'm not entirely sure the crew didn't mutiny on him.  Captain Kaine's leadership thus far has not precisely been good for his crew.  All hail the new captain!)

Killed in Mordheim thus far:

Week 2
Victar a veteran pit fighter with the Arm Pit gang. Shot in the back.

Week 3
Victar II was remarkably like Victar the First only less lucky.

Richart Gottlieb, a valiant Crusader of Reikland, was shot and killed by a jackal faced Beastman from Khemri. Needless to say he was shocked.

Melderzhus was an ancient Necharch Vampire. A dark elf did for him with a creul sword.

Week 4
Victar III. Do you sense a trend?

The Troll Slayer With No Name was an unlucky dwarf. He was killed by a deflected javelin. Igmonious.

Victar may be as unlucky a name as the Legions of Heroes named Lugwig....a few more reincarnations should tell.

The Incredible Belonoghast, Carnival Freak - Sacrificed to their god by a cult of vicious Slaanesh followers from the Pleasure District.

Hansaplast the Goblin Punk - Fell from a four-storey building and survived, just to be ripped apart by a huge Possessed creature seconds later.

Boris the Beardling - His head exploded as a result of standing too near to a screaming wall.

Urrgh the Slightly brighta 'Un - Had his head beaten in by the hammer of a vampire known as "The Preacherman".

Ugg-Ugg, Wild Orc Shaman - Followed Urrgh's destiny instants later.

Marius the Dreg - Literally lost his head when facing a Wild Orc Boss pumped up on Mad Cap Mushrooms.

Karl Duster, Grave Robber - Eaten alive by his own ghoul companions.

Week 5
Rothmon, Chieftan of Rothmon's Raiders was killed in a skirmish with Dark Elves. The Raiders were victorious but mourn their chief.

Talia was a Dark Elf Beastmaster, although she never had any beasts of her own, which made her sad.

Scurd was a Dark Elf Fellblade. One hero was killed fighting the Raiders and another fell igmoniously against inexperienced Dwarfs. Likely we will never know which died where.

Gottart Krieg, Warrior Priest of Sigmar and chaplain to the Crusdaers was killed in a skirmish with Dwarfs, those that Sigmar loves die young.

Week 6
Klaus Gottmittuns was a Crusader Youngblood of much promise. He was gored in the back by a Greathorn centigor as he lay dazed on an icy street.

The Crusaders have moved into a tie with the Arm Pits for number of deceased heroes.

Week unkown
Siggard Dheil , Warrior Priest of Sigmar and replacement chaplain to the Crusaders was cut in half by an enraged ogre. It is said the two halves of his body fell in the shape of the comet of Sigmar. This powerful omen ended the skirmish, but the Crusade goes forward.

The Crusaders take the undisputed lead in Deceased Heroes with 4 killed in action.

Rameses, a beastman from Khemri, was killed in a struggle with The Hero Slayers, an inexperienced but leathal Dwarf warband. The Hero Slayers have slain 4 enemy heroes.

Week unknown, but more recent
Scraggar, a mad Bestigor of the Greathorns, was killed by the Arm Pits. Scraggar was adept at drooling vacantly and falling from heights accidentallly, yet he met is end at the hands of a simiarly afflicted Dwarf Pit Fighter.

Just Last Thursday
General Octavius the Pit King, undisputed leader of the famed Arm Pits, was done to death while on a vital mission to free Mordheim from mutation and chaos. The Arm Pits have vowed not to bathe until he is avenged!

The Arm Pits come from behind to tie the Crusaders with 4 lost heroes.

Tonight we played our End of Campaign megabattle! We were trying to summon the Shadow Lord (we succeeded!) but Khufu's Raiders met with an unexpected event.

The very first turn I rolled for Eye of the Gods (the Chaos Magic spell that can boost your stats) and I rolled boxcars! I was hoping at the very least to boost my leader's toughness to 6, making him nearly unkillable! Unfortunately, the most unthinkable thing happened to me: I rolled a 1!

Reminder: Upon casting the spell you roll a d6. 2-5 one stat is magically boosted, 6 all stats are boosted by 1! On a roll of a 1 the model is immediately removed from play as the Gods find him wanting!

Since this was our last game, it only made sense that the Gods had decided that Khufu's body would make an appropriate vessel for the Shadow Lord to emerge from so I placed Khufu in the Warpstone pit in the middle of the table. When the Shadow Lord emerged he tore himself free from inside Khufu's body, tearing the Beastmen's leader to pieces as Malachor stalked the world once more!

Rules wise, Khufu should still be alive as he is only taken out of action from the spell with no injury but considering how daemons were tearing loose from other people's henchmen it only made sense to me for that to happen.

Khufu took over the warband from Rothmon who was killed by a vicious papercut that grew infected. He's joined in death by Ramses who was cut in half by a dwarf axe and Konk the minotaur who was downed by hundred of crossbow bolts! (Konk isn't a hero but he died the first game I had him! CURSES!)

Nombor, a black orc youngun, becomes the first hero to fall in the quest to lift the Curse of Toth Amon. Nombor was an aggressive sort and a bit too trusting. He died in Sartosa fighting Arabyan Nomads. Humie sorcery is blamed for his death.
He has already been replaced.

Kik, an orc nutter with talent, was killed by Kellorn the Dwarf, as Kik sought a thief in the Osso Hills. Kik was known for being shot or stabbed almost as often as Nombur.

Baern Kegslayer, noble leader of the warband the Kegslayers, was shot in the back somewhere in the depths of the Cave of the Damned. His death is added to the long list of grudges of the Kegslayer clan against the Nomads of Araby.

We will never forget

El Padre, mighty shaman of the notorious El Stompo's Orkestra del Sangre, who visited the unorky with pamphlets, a tremendous sight in the streets, the one that saw many threats and foresaw the future, a keen eye in battle, always on the watch, the warband's far seer, has cast his last "Ledz Go!" and seen his last fight, as he fought eye for an eye with very experienced Reiklanders.
Actually he fought with such commitment that El Padre's eye got poked by a halberdier. It wouldn't have been a big deal for an ork to loose his eye in battle, unless he has already lost his other eye in the battle just before.
Some say, El Padre saw it coming. Some say, he was blinded by his own overconfidence: "Geddin' poky in da one eye wuz just me luck, cause fer now me wear mighty eye-patch and look more stompy an' more grim!"
El Padre died in the attempt to slice hunks of meat for his fellow orks' lunch after the battle.

(El Padre was taken out of action in two games and he rolled twice for serious injuries in total. He rolled "blinded in one eye" twice. )

Rapheal was sharp eyed and sharp witted but the walking dead tripped him up and killed him dead. Off in the Osso Hills it was, back when Somer was looking for legends of that Toth Amon git.
The 'Shiners call the git that took his place Rapheal, Too.

Abu the Monkey Man was a native of Lashiek. He went mad they say. Mad and lamed he was toward the end of his service. Perhaps he has returned to Lashiek.

Loken, the Halfling Killer,a bull centaur of fearsome repute was killed by Burke, a mate from Robert's Raiders crew in a dispute over buried treasure. Loken is what's buried now.

Frat Rat, the dread leader of the Kappa Eta secret society was killed in an improptu duel with Ahriman the Sorcerer, the leader of the Chaos Dwarfs.

Razamatazz the Sorcerer has succceeded the fallen Frat since only he could hold Kappa Eta together. Rumors of treason and betrayal are assumed to be true.

Wilhelm-Elf Ranger and Guide
Let out his famous scream as he plummeted six stories to his doom. He met his end most dramatically.

(Had him atop the highest point on the map to snipe enemies and provide cover for the rest of the warband. By sheer luck, a Dreg with a bow hit him, despite a BS of 2, range, and cover. The elf was knocked down and FAILED his Initiative test to keep from falling off of the ledge, nearly 10 inches down. Splat)

Otto von Buskirk-Reiklander Champion and Strongman
Faced down a Vampire on his first outing, and died bravely defending his Captain. Funeral services pending until we find the body.

(Seriously, my very first game of the campaign was a pyrrhic victory at best. Now my vampire opponent has a WS4 Zombie with a Great Weapon. )