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| | Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) |  |
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+13wyldhunt Fungomungus Dazza Von Kurst Eliazar MonkeyShaman Knightei Andy zelophahad Da Bank frog DeafNala WarbossKurgan 17 posters | |
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DeafNala
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 | |  | | Andy
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|  Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign)  Thu 31 Dec 2009 - 16:33 | |
| | |
| | | | Andy
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Thu 31 Dec 2009 - 16:35 | |
| I apologise in advance for the quality of this... The following is an untitled poem, by an unknown author, read to children of the Empire, warning of the dangers of the world outside its borders:
Settle down now children, and listen to the tale,
Of a man so useless, his middle name was fail,
He tried, he tried, oh try how he did,
But try how he might, he just could not be rid,
Rid of what, you say, what monster or people-harmer,
Not one of these, I say, but a simple crop farmer,
One would be fine, or maybe even two,
But when a dozen came knocking, he didn't know what to do,
They came with their pitchforks, their relics and their tomes,
And said 'help us, oh brave warrior, for we have lost our homes,
And so the useless man, looked deep into his heart,
And said, 'yes, and together, a noble quest we shall start',
'So off to Vercuso, a land of plenty',
'Although I'd swap my twelve zealots, for an army of twenty',
But got there they did, and unloaded their baggage,
And were immediately attacked, by a warband so savage,
Green, and hulking, and covered in paint,
The port needed cleansing, of this terrible taint,
There was a crash, and a clash, a bloody little fray,
But in the end it was the monsters, that seized the day,
'Retreat, retreat, to the shadows and the shade',
'And curse our bad luck, and the best of plans mislaid',
'Regroup at this place, at the crack of dawn',
'For our whole battle strategy, needs to be redrawn',
| |
| | | | Andy
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Thu 31 Dec 2009 - 16:35 | |
| To the docks they returned, after that one fateful fight,
And encountered and elf, and a little tree sprite,
'Come here', said the man, with brio and vim,
But the elves did not listen, and shot at him,
Oh it's a sorry old tale, and that's no mistake,
For after the arrow hit him, he would not wake,
He had died, kicked the bucket, popped his cloggs,
His body to be abandoned, and eaten by the dogs,
The farmers they saw this, and went a bit mad,
Avenged he must be, there was vengeance to be had,
They stripped off their clothes, just as the wind began to blow,
And ran towards the enemy, with their bits all on show,
They tried to fight, they tried to kill,
But they were just farmers, who had fields to till,
They were cut down, swept aside, pummelled and battered,
Until they could no longer stand, and their hopes were tattered,
'Retreat', said one, 'Agreed', said another,
And so it was every man for himself, brother against brother,
'Get out of my way, I've got to stay alive',
'Nobody will care, if you don't survive',
So is that all there is, our poem is it finished,
Now that our hero's life, has sadly diminished,
No, we have not even started, not by a mile,
There is still grand adventure to be had, and monsters most vile, | |
| | | | DeafNala
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Thu 31 Dec 2009 - 17:12 | |
| An EPIC POEM to follow in the footsteps of The Rhyme of the Ancient Marmalader...we wait further verses, for better or worse. Not exactly Kipling, but I like it...for whatever that's worth.  | |
| | | | WarbossKurgan
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Thu 31 Dec 2009 - 17:18 | |
| WEEK '0' STATS (i.e. after Christmasheim):   The Indestructibles are at WR 0 zero because they have been retired  . They will be replaced by whatever Andy B's new warband is...  | |
| | | | WarbossKurgan
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Thu 31 Dec 2009 - 17:24 | |
| Jurassic Orc - The Lost Waaagh! - zelophahad wrote:
- Dr Deitrch Attenburg wrote:
- Mass violence has suddenly erupted all over Vercuso as the various warbands who have recently moved into the port have started attacking one another. The group of cave orcs I am observing has been in the thick of the fighting right from the start, as I shall now recount along with my illustrative sketchings:
I must confess to being shocked and sickened by the brutal aggression of these violent creatures: I watched them see off a witch hunter and his small hoard of zealous farmers in almost no time at all, taking control of the area known as Dumplington.
I have now discerned the role of the orc who seems to be known as ‘Oooogh’ – I believe him to be some kind of primitive magic-user or shaman. I swear I saw him hurl the witch hunter off his feet from some distance away, casting the hapless man back into two of his followers! And on a couple of occasions, in the brief moments before the cave orcs engaged their enemies, I witnessed what appeared to be green lightening flashing from his nostrils to cast his foes aside!
~~~
Very soon after, while foraging around the Barrel O’Monkeys, the savages were set upon by the sinister circus of Papa Jingle. Being scattered and surprised, I thought the bestial greenskins done for, but despite their ill discipline, most of the greenskins regrouped and hit Jingle’s troupe back so hard that the clowns ran for their lives!
Even as they fight, I discern that the cave orcs are rapidly adapting to the urban habitat, honing their combat skills and growing in frenzied confidence. Furthermore, other cave orcs seem to be entering the town, gradually increasing the size of Uhg-ug-ugg's vicious little tribe.
~~~
Then for the third time on one day the cave orcs were up to their necks in violence, this time with a band of human barbarians hardly more civilized than themselves. The orcs had discovered something of value in a building in the vicinity of The Old Temple where the barbarians had made their lair. The primitive humans sought to drive the orcs away but were unprepared for the brutality of the greenskins’ response.
~~~
Finally, as the sun set in a blood-soaked sky, a great gathering of no less than seven warbands converged on The Barrel of Monkeys. Rumour has it that the Circus drew the fighting into the cave orcs’ new-found territory in order to steal it from them. If this were indeed the case, such machinations are far beyond the animalistic intelligence of these brute beasts: Spying their former adversaries the barbarians, the savage greenskins immediately engaged them in an appallingly bloody street fight. Soon after, the few barbarians left standing had swiftly retreated leaving only one orc, the mysterious Oooogh, lying in a pool of his own blood.
But the Uhg-ug-ugg's victory was short-sighted: The Circus is now entertaining The Barrel of Monkeys.
~~~
As my readers will appreciate, observing such violent behaviours is a hazardous occupation. I have taken to hiding myself near the tops of tall buildings, hoping that gold crowns will persuade aggressors of my neutrality should I be discovered. On this occasion, there was so much activity in the streets below that I was forced to stay up in the tower until dawn, hoping to retrieve Oooogh’s body for dissection when the coast was clear. But during the dead of night I awoke to strange and terrible sounds, and looking down upon the site of the orcs’ earlier street fight, I spied a figure in dark robes dragging the dead shaman’s body away! Could it be that I am not the only academic in Vercuso interested in the anatomy of these brute beasts? I must keep watch over my notes and parchments lest my rival tries to steal the fruits of my academic labour too! I must discover the identity of the body-snatcher and his intentions...
 Warband update after four Christmasheim games:
Uhg-ug-ugg, Savage Orc Boss - flint knife, two clubs, sling, lucky charm, pit fighter, mighty blow
Oooohg (the second!), Savage Orc Shaman - flint knife, spear
Uhg-uhg, Savage Orc Big'un - flint knife, double-handed weapon, S4 W2
Uhgg-uhgg, Savage Orc Big'un - flint knife, double-handed weapon, strongman, Ld8
Ug, Ug, Ug, Ug, 4+2=6 Savage Orcs - flint knife, two clubs, sling, WS4
Warband rating = 159
2 locations controlled: The Binnacle Yard, Dumplington | |
| | | | Andy
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Thu 31 Dec 2009 - 18:24 | |
| It seems I've messed up a bit. Before I fought Richard's elves I fought Tim's barbarians. Oops.  It seems there's been some confusion, as to the order of events,
For before he met the elves, our hero met some country gents,
Half naked they were, half clothed and lacking any armour,
But they could not match their might, against a fully naked farmer,
The savage men of Albion, who'd ventured from the north west,
Could have been forgiven for thinking, they were fighting Sigmar's best,
The farmers were all fury, all rage and unleashed aggression,
Keen to show their worth, after a lifetime of oppression,
These raiders from a far off land, fought them toe-to-toe,
But all they got was a bloody nose, and a sense of dread and woe,
They turned, these men, and left the field,
For despite their terrible losses, the farmers would not yield,
But yet again our hero, who is great and grand and gracious,
Got a little too feisty, and a little too pugnacious,
He went after a group of three, all upon his own,
And took a hammer to the head, that split it to the bone,
But he did not die, he was not slain, it wasn't his time to go,
He lived to fight another day, a smite another foe,
We knew he wouldn't die today, we knew it would get worse,
Because we'd already been told about his death, in a previous verse, | |
| | | | WarbossKurgan
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Thu 31 Dec 2009 - 18:47 | |
| The Serpent-Dragon of Twilight comes to the WestThe Gloomwyrms in Vercuso Big Trouble in Little Cathay“You stupid muck-raker! What are you playing at?” yelled Mung-Qi as he threw a pot at the unfortunate Pig-xi. “What is this disgusting slop?” “I’m sorry master!” whined Pig-xi from the floor, “But it really wasn’t old Pig-xi’s fault! The skinny pointy-eared gitz have strolled into Cathay town and taken control of the place, there isn’t any good food in the rest of this stinking horrible town!” “Who are these devils that think they own the place, eh?” said Mung-Qi. “They called themselves Rohan’s Merry Woodfolk master.” said Tricky Tarka quietly. “The are new to Sartosa but they are already causing problems. They seem to think that the Cathayan Merchants have no place here and they are trying to shut them all down.” “What!” yelled Mung-Qi as he jumped from his seat and grabbed his Iron Cudgel “I won’t stand for this nonsense!” He rushed from the room into the courtyard outside where the crew of the Gloomwyrm were relaxing. “Get up you lay-abouts! We have pointy-ears to bash!” ±   The pirates crept through the ruins trying to keep an eye on the Elves, but they were sneaky and quick so they couldn’t see what they were up to.  Mung-Qi extended the first two fingers of his right hand and leapt into the air and ran up the side of the lighthouse wall. From his elevated position he yelled instructions down to the pirates below.  “They are mucking around with something in the water” he called “Look out!” Arrows zipped towards the Orcs and a couple went down.  Squabbling broke out among the crew.  While the Elves grabbed the flotsam and jetsam.     The Elves fled with their loot while the Orcs were left somewhat confused as to what had happened. ± | |
| | | | DeafNala
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Thu 31 Dec 2009 - 19:28 | |
| Eastern Orcs or Western Orcs, confusion is their native state.  | |
| | | | WarbossKurgan
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Fri 1 Jan 2010 - 17:23 | |
| The Legend of Fish GutsThe Gloomwyrms trudged despondently through the streets of Vercuso. After failing to re-take Cathay Town on their first attempt they were at a loss for what to do next, until Tricky Tarka the Shaman had an idea. “Hey Mung-Qi, if we can’t take Cathay Town directly from the pointy-ears, maybe we can move in on it another way?” said Tricky. “What do you mean?” said Mung-Qi with a furrowed brow. “If we row across the harbour and into the little water-ways of the Ropewalks we should be able to get into Cathay Town unnoticed by night.” said Tricky Tarka with an wicked gleam in his eye. “I don’t see how that will help us as we will still have to deal with the skinny stinkers when we.. Aaah ya da da da da! Stop it it hurts, it hurts, it hurts!” Mung-Qi’s objections were cut-off when Tricky Tarka started reciting the secret spell, shrinking the crown on Mung-Qi’s head. Clutching at the golden band with his eyes clamped shut Mung-Qi staggered about until Tricky Tarka stopped chanting and released him. The Gloomwyms set off for the harbour immediately. ±  A pirate Orc in a conical straw hat ran back to where the Gloomwyrms were crouching in the ruins “Papa Jingle's Cirque du Extraordinaire” said Yu-dan, “They look like they have only just got here but they have already set up camp.” “Well, we’ll just have to make a rush on them. If we can break through their lines and get to the bridge to Cathay Town before dusk we can make our attack as planned.” said Tricky Tarka with a stern look at Mung-Qi who sighed and nodded. The pirates split into two groups, Xan-di and Pig-xi took the Red Dragon Mountain crew with their Great Weapons and charged towards Pap Jingle and his troupe. Mung-Qi, Tricky Tarka, Yu-dan and the Blue Lanterns rushed towards the Cirque du Extraordinaire’s band.     Papa Jingle himself used his magic to confuse and confound the Orcs and the Red Dragon Mountain crew didn’t fair too well as the massive brute of a Strongman swung his dumb-bells with unexpected skill and accuracy, felling them left and right while the freak-show Cloven Hoofed Man skipped about knifing the fallen pirates.    When Tricky Tarka fell to the swords of the circus band Yu-dan found himself surrounded. He jumped and planted a heel-kick into the diaphragm of the bandsman behind him, sending the young man sprawling backwards with no air in his lungs. As Yu-dan landed he glanced away the rain of sword and knife thrusts with a spiraling twirl of his cutlass, whipped the blade-tip across the throat of the second bandsman and span back to impale an acrobat as she leapt towards him. For a few moments he surveyed the three felled opponents around him with dark glee, then ran for his life after Mung-Qi. The pirate captain pounded down the narrow street towards the graveyard and the line of circus performers waiting for him. They were sure they had him in their clutches when the wily Orc summoned his Cloud Trapeze and soared over their heads to safety! Mung-Qi landed with a laugh but when he looked around he was the only one of the Gloomwyrms anywhere near the Cathay Town bridge.  “Gorram!” he roared in frustration. The clowns had inadvertently halted his second assault on the Wood Elves. ± Yu-dan knelt, in a pool of light in the centre of an otherwise darkened and smokey room, bowed in deference. The red paper lantern above only dimly lit the shadows around him. “You showed great skill today Yu-dan.” said a voice from the darkness. “I will teach you the secret of cloud-walking if you swear not to pass it on?” “I swear master!” said the eager pirate “I am your loyal servant!” Yu-dan bowed lower until his forehead touched the floor. “Hmmm!” said Mung-Qi.
Last edited by WarbossKurgan on Sat 2 Jan 2010 - 14:04; edited 1 time in total | |
| | | | DeafNala
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| | | | | zelophahad
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Fri 1 Jan 2010 - 21:50 | |
|  Why, thank you very much Alan! | |
| | | | Knightei
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Fri 1 Jan 2010 - 22:34 | |
| Nice! very narrative report your orcs were well "delayed" from taking Cathay Town back... Itsa shame that i live so close to where this campaign is held but its too far also... (that was terrible wording) Hmmm maybe in a few years time i could join eh?  | |
| | | | zelophahad
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Sat 2 Jan 2010 - 1:08 | |
| You'd be most welcome! How far is 'too far'? | |
| | | | Knightei
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Sat 2 Jan 2010 - 13:18 | |
| well i'm at the moment under the age of 14... so 10 miles + too far for my parents... pffff that figures any way too far is from manchester to leicester so... My parents would ony drive that far for a holiday or a birthday... any way keep the reports up!!! | |
| | | | WarbossKurgan
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Sat 2 Jan 2010 - 14:03 | |
| Yeah, popping over for a lunch-time game isn't really an option from there!  More reports coming soon! | |
| | | | WarbossKurgan
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Mon 4 Jan 2010 - 22:37 | |
| The Barrel of Mung-Qi’s“That is an auspicious sunset” said Tricky Tarka looking at the blood-soaked sky, “See the cloud formation that looks like a rearing horse? A great gathering of seven warbands will converge on the Barrel of Monkeys; We must be one of the seven.” “Barrel of my what?” said Mung-Qi. Tricky just rolled his eyes and sighed. ± On the water-front near the Barrel of Monkeys inn, seven warbands gathered and struggled to control seven key buildings.    They were... Mung-Qi and the Gloomwyrms:  The Indestructibles:  Raziels' Court  The Lost Waaagh!  Albania Barbarians  Papa Jingle's Cirque du Extraordinaire  Rohern's Cheery Woodfolk  The Gloomwyrms made for the centre of the district...  But one of the crew got carried away in the heat of the moment and charged The Indestructibles...  He made a bold showing of it but the huge crowd of bare-fisted zealots eventually brought him down and gave him a kicking.   As the Gloomwyrms passed the old warehouse they spotted Raziels' Court trying to outflank them  The Lost Waaagh! ran noisily towards the harbour.  While the numerous Cirque du Extraordinaire headed for several different targets at once  The Barbarians clashed with the Lost Waaagh in a bitter and cramped street fight, from which the Barbarians would not escape!   The Indestructibles charged the Cirque du Extraordinaire under the archways of the Wall Tavern.  While the Gloomwyrms took up a pointless defence of the empty and tactically useless Warehouse.   Yu-dan cast Cloud Trapeze for the first time in his advancing career, and leapt skyward and landed with little grace on the Lighthouse walkway...  ...then sprinted up the spiraling boards.  The shambling Court of Raziels came on and on in unending waves.  When night set in and the dust started to settle it seemed that the Cirque du Extraordinaire had not only secured the Prison Tower, but they had cleverly contested all the other key buildings in their long reach!     ± Victory points were secret until the end of the game, each building being marked with a counter that had a number from 1-8 on the underside. Each of the seven players picked one without looking at it and placed it in a building. Those buildings were then worth the victory points on the counter at the end of two hour's gaming. 1 - The Cheery Woodfolk and The Gloomwyrms 2 - The Lost Waaagh and The Cirque du Extraordinaire 3 - The Lost Waaagh
4 - The Cheery Woodfolk
5 - The Cirque du Extraordinaire6 - not picked 7 - The Gloomwyrms and The Cirque du Extraordinaire 8 - The Indestructibles and The Cirque du Extraordinaire
Last edited by WarbossKurgan on Wed 6 Jan 2010 - 11:16; edited 1 time in total | |
| | | | DeafNala
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Tue 5 Jan 2010 - 9:20 | |
| Yet another GREAT Battle Report complimented by LOVELY photos...Oh to be in Morkchester! | |
| | | | zelophahad
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| | | | | Andy
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| | | | | MonkeyShaman
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Tue 5 Jan 2010 - 11:35 | |
| like thats going to scare anyone away, everyone wants to be in manchester after reading a flame on thread. | |
| | | | DeafNala
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Tue 5 Jan 2010 - 13:14 | |
| - zelophahad wrote:
- DeafNala wrote:
- Oh to be in Morkchester!
Well, it's snowing now Alan so maybe you'd rather not just at the moment?  Well...right now we have about 3' of snow on the ground, the outside temperature is 19 degress Fahrenheit, AND, since my Ex the Landlady neglected having the burner maintained, the interior teperature is roughly the same as the exterior. SO...Oh to be in Mork-or-possibly-gork-chester. | |
| | | | WarbossKurgan
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Wed 6 Jan 2010 - 11:23 | |
| Untitled Saga, cica 2509 - Andy wrote:
Woe to the vanquished, and the ignoble dead,
For our farmers were leaderless, and had not been fed,
Days had gone by, and none of them had the brain,
To steal some meat, some bread or some grain,
'We are so hungry' they cried, all thin and emaciated,
'We can't take all this losing , and we're somewhat frustrated',
'To the docks' they cried, on a cold Winter's night,
'Maybe then we'll find something, to aid us in our plight',
Some fish, or some barley, off the back of a boat,
They were even so cold, they'd settle for a coat,
But just as the farmers, had spied some ripe haddock,
They were unfairly assaulted, by and orc with a mattock,
He swished and he swooshed, and he punched and he kicked,
Until the poor farmers, were well and truly licked,
By some twist of fate, they soon brought him down,
But then were attacked, by a rather large clown,
This clown he jingled, he jangled and he span,
And took out the farmers, almost to a man,
In the greater scheme of things, despite what they'd been told,
It seemed that fortune, didn't favour the bold,
| |
| | | | Eliazar
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| | Subject: Re: Bell, Book and Candle (a Flame On Mordheim campaign) Wed 6 Jan 2010 - 11:36 | |
| Great reports as always! May I ask what rules you use for the cheery woodfolk? | |
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