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 Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary

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WarbossKurgan
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Thu 20 Aug 2009 - 9:10

zelophahad wrote:
Dinner, another pig.
A vampire got the trot(ter)s.
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WarbossKurgan
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Sat 22 Aug 2009 - 2:05

Davespaceman wrote:
In death a member of Raziels court has a name his name was Robert Paulson

Bob an innocent man going about his daily business never harmed a soul in his life was set upon and Murdered! by a band of vicious, villanous, voracious, vexatious, vile halflings. (fancied a bit of alliteration)

Poor Bob
zelophahad wrote:
Bob had it coming - he was after the halflings' dinner! Razz

The Beanbag wrote:
A faithful servant to the knightly courts, Sheldon - expert pikeman and stickbladder player - died from a bloody big club round the head.
*Innocent whistling*


Last edited by WarbossKurgan on Mon 24 Aug 2009 - 6:06; edited 1 time in total
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Von Kurst
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Sun 23 Aug 2009 - 13:38

Marley #4. A Ghost Pirate Skeleton Mate took a crossbow bolt to his left eye-socket. Now his sight is gone in both eyes, so he sits and clacks his teeth as a part of a Wal-mart Halloween exhibit. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Mon 24 Aug 2009 - 2:39

OH GOD...NOT WALMART! What a TRULY tragic end! Sad
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Mon 24 Aug 2009 - 4:18

Achmed Meatsack, KIA by a Battle Monk emnissary, 22-08-09
Achmed Meatsack II, KIA by a crossbow bolt, 23-08-09

the Bremen meeting took some ogres, but they didn't go down without a fight Smile

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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Mon 24 Aug 2009 - 6:18

Sascha the Ostlander Magician, sadly taken out by Sascha himself in a rude act of random violence... totally uncalled for....

Then again, a hero without skills shouldn't march into the northern wastes..
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WarbossKurgan
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Fri 4 Sep 2009 - 6:51

Dazza wrote:
It be a dark day for the Gentlemen. this sorrowful night we commit to the sea:

Butcher Bob,
Errol Thinn the 2nd (again),
'He-who-must-not-be-named'
and finally 'The-man-with-no-name'.

The Beanbag wrote:
Albert le Vague's broadsword - Amazing Grace - was singing tonight!

Frog wrote:
Mat, Property of the great ogre john.
Got squished by a large ork. he was but small
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WarbossKurgan
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Fri 4 Sep 2009 - 6:54

Wrydtoof Hogbreff, former navigator of the Ogresun
Squished flat by Fillkeema the Ogre Chief when he wasn't supported by his shipmates.

Stormy Trug, former Kabin Grot of the Ogresun and
Dubloon Dreg, former Deck Hand of the Ogresun
Both "Ogred to death" on the same evening.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Fri 4 Sep 2009 - 7:28

TRAGIC LOSSES ALL, but Wyrdtoff was like an Old Friend...we both had LOUSY taste in companions Suspect . Sad
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Fri 11 Sep 2009 - 3:32

zelophahad wrote:
Granny Faddock, trainee cook
Badly scratched by a rat-thing

Breakfast, Lunch and Tea, piggies
Died up to their names.

Dazza wrote:
Stinky Pete & Butcher Bob tickled by a rat-things too,
The man with no name, had trouble with ghoulies

The Beanbag wrote:
Le Mort d'Iolanthe

Iolanthe le Crouton crumbled in the face of all those rats.
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DeafNala
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Fri 11 Sep 2009 - 3:47

Granny Faddock DEAD...say it ain' so!
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Mon 14 Sep 2009 - 5:12

Davespaceman wrote:
2 fine upstanding gentlemen Steve and Franklin obliterated by a blunderbuss next to the gallows in Hangman's Square whilst delivering food and clothing to the poor. These filthy pirates must be driven from our once peaceful isle
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Sat 19 Sep 2009 - 6:29

Death in the Leafy Green:
A Totem Warrior named Tereis died on a dark night on a lonely jungle trail.

An Amazon champion named Archippe was eaten by a Cold One.

3 of the Tilean wenches known as the Trulls provided sustenance for Cold Ones on the same night.

Rotgut and Swilla, orc boyz, walked into the fog, but will no walk no more. Cain't find dey legz.

Death and Undeath on the Big Blue:
A skeleton was hacked apart as his mates boarded Da Gut Bucket. The hip bone no longer connects to the thigh bone...

Snagg the goblin met the wrong end of a rusty cutlass defending the Bucket's aftcastle.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Sat 19 Sep 2009 - 11:34

Salty Oggbad
Former Second Mate of the Ogresun
Barnacle Nog will miss you mate! *sniff* He'll pour some rum overboard in ye memory, ye scurvy blackguard!

Walker Plank, Former MidshipGrotz of the Ogresun and Dubloon Dreg II and Bilge Badlug, Former Defaulterz of the Ogresun
None of you gitz will be remembered, ye useless lubbers!

*sniff*
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Fri 25 Sep 2009 - 19:02

In the jungle the quiet jungle...
Orethis, an Amazon Scout, is killed by a Trull from Tilea. Those Tilean babes hates those half naked Amazons!

Clubba Loon and Shagger were a likely pair of orc ladz. Gooba and hiz Red Fangs cut 'em down in a diss-pute over mules. Lucky dey wuzna hung.

Schlotz #1 - Joins in the fight between an Amazon and a zombie teammate only to be knocked down, fall an inch down a hill, go out of action and then roll a dead result post game.
Zombie - dies

Schlotz #2 - dies, don't remember how.
Another zombie and a skeleton warrior are destroyed by the Daemon Guardian of the River Temple,
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Mon 5 Oct 2009 - 5:51

The Beanbag wrote:
Le mort en rats

Two doughty men-at-arms - Bernard and Ted - succumbed to Weil's disease after giant rats attacked their search party.
May their arms guard them in the here-after.
Frog wrote:
Tom & Maxim
Died for well nothing. cos they are nothing. worth nothing. well that's Gnoblars for you... Razz
Godfather Viktor wrote:
Quitch, Eshin Sorcerer

Back-stabbed by his leader. No one will miss him (unless he wants to ends up with a Weeping Blade through his chest)
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WarbossKurgan
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Tue 6 Oct 2009 - 8:49

Davespaceman wrote:
Hired sword Morlock the warlock was gunned down by some scurvy ridden pirates. Luckily there's plenty more to be hired from around the town
Dazza wrote:
Aye t'was a wee young deckhand savagely beaten by a gribbly beast. T'was a shame to be sure.
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WarbossKurgan
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Fri 16 Oct 2009 - 2:53

Dazza wrote:
"Yarr today is a sad day to be sure. We The Gentlemen mourn the passing of our dear Sea Monkey who heroically sacrificed himself to save the live of our brother Dapper Dan. "

Dan was accosted by a particularly filthy vermin, Sea Monkey spotting the danger attempted to distract the foul beast by flinging his poo in its general direction before meeting his end.
Bloody revenge was wrought and the mangy rodent became no more than a greasy patch of earth.

Fear not though, The Inferno has a healthy compliment of Ships Monkeys. May I introduce "Magic".


"Oook"
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Fri 16 Oct 2009 - 3:25

A cigarette smoking, one eyed, coffee drinking Monkey...a PERFECT COMPANION!
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Thu 22 Oct 2009 - 4:20

Capsize Naz
New recruit to the Ogresuns, but an old, experience deckhand and pirate who'd probably seen a fair bit of action before he joined our crew. Who knows, he never got to tell us any stories down the pub after a fight.

Murderised by sneaky Skaven in Cheapside on his first day ashore.
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WarbossKurgan
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Thu 22 Oct 2009 - 8:30

zelophahad wrote:
Granny Faddock

Turned up, look pretty, got killed.

Debatable . lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Fri 23 Oct 2009 - 7:45

Qutal the Fearless, a Skink Greatcrest fell in battle, hacked by rusty blades and torn by pitted talons. Now his body stalks the jungle paths, his shining swords gripped in lifeless hands...

A Bad Day for Totem Warriors
Raaza of the Jaguars, he who wore the Pendant of the Old Ones, was killed by Cookie Wassis.

Quik Bil wuz cut up by dat Raaza, fore Cookie rubbed 'im out.

Tereis II, a totem warrior was killed by Trulls in the ruins. Thermedosa, the other totem warrior was attacked after the battle, killed and eaten by a Cold One.

Bakida, an Amazon warrior, killed by Lizzards in the Place of Silent Stone.

Pressganger Jak murdered by that rottin' git, Melderzhus.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Tue 27 Oct 2009 - 0:17

Derek the Dwarf Noble. A FULLY experienced lad. You'd think he would have learned enough to turn around when confronted by an orc weilding a great axe. His beautiful gromril armour hadn't saved him yet, and it didn't save him this time either. Leave it to an orc not to hesitate when the poor dwarfs back was turned.

His peg legged replacement Maury the Slayer was found dead a week later. Crushed to a pulp from the aspirations of an ogre.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Fri 30 Oct 2009 - 10:13

In the Jungle:
Totem Warrior Akanthia was killed by Nameless da Troll. Burp.
Grog Soppa was overwhelmed and killed by jungle vermin called by the Pale Moon's Priestess.
Ganger Sot ran into the wrong end of a sword.

Amid the Ruin:
Big Chief Gooba was killed and eaten by a Cold One (after being crushed a bit by a giant constrictor...)
7 Dripping Fang warriors preceded their chief into Hel. Victims of the Snake known as da Squisher and skink poisoned arrows.
A Kroxigor was killed by the Trulls.
An amazon warrior was murdered and MoAka (the pygmy) died of his wounds.

On a Lonesome Dock in a Foreign Town:
Cutta Rip got cut an' ripped by Trulls. 'E's na more.
Dull Snik wuz rubbed out by smugglers, da buggers!
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Thu 26 Nov 2009 - 15:17

In memory of Morbo, the extremely hardened and one-eyed magister. He was known for pulling hankerchiefs linked together out of his eye socket in an attempt to lure people to chaos. On occasion he yelled obsenities very loudly in an attempt to kill people. He died heroicly fighting a a young gryphon.
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