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 Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary

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ulvardar2



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PostSubject: Re   Thu 26 Nov 2009 - 20:20

The Other Josh wrote:
He was known for pulling hankerchiefs linked together out of his eye socket in an attempt to lure people to chaos.

If only Archaon had known the trick before attacking Middenheim.... those damned handkerchiefs are the damnation of many pure souls... so hard to resist the temptation....
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Sun 20 Dec 2009 - 15:31

The mutant "Eyes";
Had three eyes,
all open wide,
now resides,
with eyes wide shut.

To Bob, brethren of the Brotherhood of the Animaniacs,
Only the good die young, so no one expected you to.

To Bob Jr., son of the late Bob, with you ends the line
of the most worthless family to ever walk the streets of
Mordheim.

The Reiklander "Blazer" was disembowled by a possessed,
his last meal was 3 strip of bacon one slice of bread, and
a bowl of porridge, all returned to his warband for reuse.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Thu 31 Dec 2009 - 8:31

The Nameless Man - Protagonist of an untitled poem circulating about the Empire. According to its verses, he was shot by an elf.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Thu 31 Dec 2009 - 9:02

He WILL be missed...whoever he was .
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Thu 31 Dec 2009 - 9:23

Andy wrote:
The Nameless Man - Protagonist of an untitled poem circulating about the Empire. According to its verses, he was shot by an elf.
but that was only after, he was beaten up by some orks, and then tenderised by some barbarians... Rolling Eyes
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Thu 31 Dec 2009 - 9:39

Tricky Tarka the first.
Devious git and Shaman of the pirate junk Gloomwyrm.
Survived being shot by Gladewood Bow but got killed by a bunch of clowns as he tried to rush through their territory.

Several Crew of the Gloomwyrm
Expendable and unrecorded, the scum of the seven seas. They will be replaced.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Wed 13 Jan 2010 - 2:32

Andy wrote:
The Nameless Man - Protagonist of an untitled poem circulating about the Empire. According to its verses, he was shot by an elf.

Several Farmers - Following the verses of the poem, many of these have been killed in gruesome and imaginative ways.
zelophahad wrote:
Oooogh
Ug uhg ugg-ug ug uhg uhgg-ug ugg
Ugg
Andy wrote:
Two Gor - Upon dissection of the epic saga of the unnamed man it seems that these beasts, 'gor' as the rumours would have it, perished at the hands of some rather dastardly Bretonnians.

Two Chaos Hounds - Since such beasts go so gruesomely against all of nature's laws, and the fact they are considered expendable by their handlers, it is probably for the best that they died.
The Beanbag wrote:
Acolytes of the Red-Eye Knights

Unswerving faith to an ancient religion was no match for a good axe at their side - their minichlamydians have been scattered into the ether to join with the strange forces of the universe.
zelophahad wrote:
Uhg-uhg
Ug ugg ug ug-uhg ug ugu uhhg ug ug-ug-ug ugg
The Beanbag wrote:
A great disturbance in the mystic Red Eye cosmos was felt today as Master Jo-Roobchan fell at the hands of a primitive race of orcs.
Valiantly defending his acolytes as they raced to secure the Buccaneers Blade quarters, he fought off a greenskin before being struck down. His blades were not quite fast enough and his minichlamydians have been reabsorbed into the ether.
Andy wrote:
Random Gor - Unloved. Will not be missed. Just another corpse on the street.
Dazza wrote:
Alas Alack! Oh woe is me,
For today we laid to rest Jangle the Monkey.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Sun 17 Jan 2010 - 4:06

Dazza wrote:
"We shall remember them"

Super Monkey,
Chuck Norris,
Dodger the impressionable youth
The Beanbag wrote:
Hal Kander, dead but not dead
Cern Dango, lost to the pits
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Fri 22 Jan 2010 - 7:47

Davespaceman wrote:
Boris
charged a monkey must have slipped in it's poo as he missed and the monkey kicked his arse. He really should have come as the wolf that day.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Fri 22 Jan 2010 - 13:20

Modessa--a curvy but crazy doxie whose devotion to Sigmar did not save her from Nameless da Troll.
Videssa--Modessa's crazier sister. Tried to follow too closely in her sister's footsteps. Killed by Beastmen (or was it Skaven.)
Moe and Larry. Fellow flagellants, comrades of the 'Dessas. Nameless killed Moe. Larry tangled once too often with Kaptian Grootka.

Slow Nerg--Slow wuz. Den 'e wuzna. Ogre got 'im.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Tue 26 Jan 2010 - 6:55

Dazza wrote:
Seymore see's no more, or hears or tastes or breathes for that matter.

Anton le fantastique the famed acrobat's grizzly death was witnessed but no body was found. However there have been rumoured sightings of a rather foul smelling chap of similar description cartwheeling around The Slips!?
Andy wrote:
Boffy the Big Gay Minotaur - A useless waste of 200 gold crowns. A disgrace to his owner who isn't bitter in the slightest, although before he died his name was just Boffy.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Tue 2 Feb 2010 - 4:00

Dazza wrote:
Clarinet Clarence & Grizzly Adams

One is proper dead the other isn't sure yet
Davespaceman wrote:
The first and second of Janus' reanimated puppets have become too unstable to keep pieced together the bretonian fell some days ago and the orc fell today set upon by his old comrades something about seeing their old companion still walking around must have fired them all up and they clubbed him to death.... well not death as he was already dead but you get the point.

Two of the local grave repositioning squad were also lost in the tussle with the orcs
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Tue 2 Feb 2010 - 4:08

May the Reanimated Ones rest in peace...or pieces as the case may be.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Thu 4 Feb 2010 - 6:17

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Mung-Qi
Fearsome Orc pirate captain of the Gloomwyrm and badly-dubbed hero of Cathay.
Impaled and eviscerated by a Vampire's Halberd then re-animated as a shambling zombie!

Oh, the dishonour! Oh, the shame! Oh... the revenge that is due!
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Thu 4 Feb 2010 - 7:12

OH NO! SAY IT AIN'T SO, Saul...oh well, at least no more migraines.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Thu 4 Feb 2010 - 7:45

I'm not sure about that - do you think Zombies suffer from Migraines?

He will return in this campaign though - I'm going to hire a normal Orc Boy and call him Mung-Qi (and wish REALLY hard for Ladz' Got Talent!)
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Fri 5 Feb 2010 - 21:36

Oy Boss! Dat's gotta hurt! Hope you have a full report to chronicle his fate. Dave's doing well with the uber zombie spell. Are you going to make him the zombie model?

Best of luck with the new hire as well.

On a related note;
Snik da Backstabba--he kill da mean Hunta dog. He fight da Hunta Doxie. Kill her too. Grootka no say "Snik a likely lad. Make ol' Snik da Mate!" No Kaptain Grootka say "Snik uppity. Kill da git!" An' dats wot da boyz did.

Toppa Knot--lost a fight wit da Hunta Krazies. Grootka need a new top man.

Pit Fighter yell "ye cain't hit me! Ye cain't hit nuthin'!" Quik Bil put dat arra in Pit Fighter's heart. Pit Fighter yell no more.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Thu 4 Mar 2010 - 12:58

The Beanbag wrote:
Bashful Jatrek fell (admittedly a while ago) amidst a storm of greenskins - just the way he would have wanted to go. He took one out with him though!
Grudge borne
Frog wrote:
It was once said he killed a man, just by looking at him.
Conan fell and became a Zombie

She was caught kissing other warband members last weekend, realising this our leader put her on the front line,
Kale fell and became a Zombie - she wont be a distraction no more.



Man i hate Zombie's
zelophahad wrote:
Ouch! Dave's warband rating is going to go through the roof! Come on guys - we've got to kill that necromancer!


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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Thu 4 Mar 2010 - 21:59

Granny Nog--a kind hearted old witch, was shot and killed today by a Tilean.

Quik Bil--was a bit slow. Ogre got 'im.

Rigga Top--his feud with Fass Jobba iz ovva. Prince Edward (the Pit King) split his skull with a great sword. Messy.

Ragshot--done to death by magic arrows. They was silver and old Rag just had to have one. Stuck in his ticker.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Fri 5 Mar 2010 - 17:50

The Herd has a couple of bad weeks:
Makmar, the Flyin Goatfing was killed in a duel with Kaptain Grootka down in old Qwayside.

Shagla the Backstabber Benthorn fought Nameless da Troll for the last time. Nameless burp!

Shacrag the Centigor was shot by the same git that killed Granny Nog.

The Main Event Gang attend a funeral of their own:
Gromlinson the Troll Slayer lost a duel with Cookie Wassis
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Mon 15 Mar 2010 - 8:42

鱼胆

The legendary Yu-Dan, Fishgutz of the mysterious east.

Died as his lived, in a whirling spiral of ornate steel blades.
His heavily scared head was caved-in by the great two-handed stone club of Uhg-ug-ugg, the Savage Orc Boss.

Tuna may be fed to a (possibly prehistoric) cat in celebration.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Wed 17 Mar 2010 - 3:18

The Beanbag wrote:
Another troll slayer. It's getting ridiculous, I'm on my 5th now. I'm not even bothering to name them.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Wed 17 Mar 2010 - 3:38

A dead Troll Slayer is a successful Troll Slayer...smelly, but successful.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Wed 17 Mar 2010 - 10:39

Davespaceman wrote:
Raziel, ferocious scourge of the pirate isle killed so many he'd maxed his exp and then some taken down by a sling

However you can never really kill a vampire and a few incantations and 110gc offered to the gods and He'll be back and angrier than ever.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom's Boring Requiem For Heroes: The Obituary   Sat 27 Mar 2010 - 11:00

Bad news comes in 3s.

Grootka, Kaptain of Da Seahog, Da Drake and Da Gutbucket was brutally killed as he lay helpless. He tried to recover from slipping in a pool of blood and taking a fall, but a passing git with a grudge killed him out of hand. 'Tis a cruel and heartless world.
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