On being a nerd

Well as I see it if you're on this forum you must be at least a little bit of a nerd/geek/whatever you want to call it! How do you all deal with the social stigma associated with our hobby? I figure there are several routes one can take:

1. Embrace the nerdiness fully but hide away from the rest of the world spending all day in front of a desk stacked with rulebooks, paints, models, computer, comics, etc. etc.

2. Embrace the rest of the world and hide your nerdiness in shame.

3. Embrace both, you're a nerd but the truly decent people of the world won't give a s**t either way and if you're into weird stuff that "normal" people aren't then the can just accept that as part of you.

4. Embrace your own nerdiness but do not actively "hide" it from others so much as "not mention it" unless there is a reason for it. You do this not out of shame, but out of fatalism. Some people will just never understand how great it is to be a nerd, but those who you think can, get an earful of Wargamology from you.


I ask because when I was about 13 I used to be firmly in category 2, it's part of the reason why I originally gave up on Warhammer and its ilk; I was just too embarrased about it. Now I'm 22 and I think most of me is in the 3rd camp and trying to fully place myself in that category...

How am I supposed to vote on a nerdy poll when no option reads "42"?!

I remember sitting at a lecture, well, it was before the lecture actually, at university and playing magic when one chick (it was a psychology lecture so there were like 99% women.. gosh, those were the days...) turned around, saw the cards and said enthusiasticly "oh, my little brother used to play that too!"



Yeay, her little brother used to play that too... And no, I didn't bother explaining to her that these were competitive legacy decks worth more than what she's paying for her monthly rent. A strategy game designed by Richard Garfield with students as the very target audience in mind.

That's just how it is. The companies are making money by talking kids out of their monthly pocket money so those are what you, as a player, are compared to. No one thinks of mid-twenty students when they see magic cards. It's the same with tabletop (which equals "Games Workshop" for those who even know what it is). If there was anything right then I should be at the university, painting a mini and some girl would come in and say: "hey, my grand-pa also shares that hobby. He and his friends are re-enacting historical battles of the AWI, ECW, ACW and such in their free time." Cause that's where we're all rooted in.

If anything, it's those misconceptions that are annoying. I mean, hey, I can get drunk and fucked up like anybody (though I'm pretty much through with that). If meeting friends and competing in warfare ain't manly I don't know what is..

Peace. Geek on!

I've ALWAYS marched to my own drummer, to my own self been true, & like that. Frankly I don't REALLY care what other folks think about me; as long as I can look in the mirror & not be ashamed on the person I see reflected there, that's enough for moi.

Hmmm I can't vote really. I suppose I am cathegory 4 which does not exist. I used to be 1 when I was 14 - 15.

I usually do not "hide" my hobby from others so much as I "do not mention it" unless there is a reason for it.
The main reason is that I have experienced the uselessness of trying to explain tabletoping to someone with a lack of interest/capacity to understand. So I usually switch to more "serious" topics. Like the latest movie, politics, computers, science, what happened to me in the subway 3 days ago...

Over the years I have developed a keen sense of empathy, allowing me to judge another person's "geek potential" very quickly.

I can thus determine in the first few minutes of a conversation if someone will be able to relate to miniature gaming or not. Those individuals who can - I call them "Transmutables" - are usually those who are not completely creativity amputated.

Those are the ones I can and will share the hobby with, even if they do not play/paint/convert themselves.

Sir Ken Robinson, a british sociologist and professor at Warwick said: "Creativity is not something we grow into, it is a thing we grow out of".

And I passionately believe that.

Pablo Picasso said: "We are all born artists. The hard thing is to remain one as we grow up".

And I do believe that too. I am not saying we are all as talented in art as Pablo Picasso but I do think that we all have a certain potential for "imaginativeness" (call it "creativity" or "escapism", or whatever you want) that we lose progressively as we grow up, because we are educated out of it.

It is not an entirely bad thing though, because otherwise we would have a world full of grown ups tossing around little toy cars. However, I think that those who retain a little portion of their child-soul, something that allows them to imagine, to dream, have a very beautiful soul preserving thing at their disposal, and should not be ashamed of it. Even if it does not seem accepted by our society.

--Admin Tom

PS: All this being said, one should REALLY try not to fall into cathegory 1. It leads to social isolation, and you can have all the imaginativeness you want at your disposal, it won't replace human contact. So put the brushes and minis away from time to time, and go play football or go party with friends.

Now that Tom has explained category 4 so well, I want to vote for that, too:D

Haha! Thanks Eli.

So Jackanory... how about that 4th cathegory?
"The sceptical realist"

I tried to add category 4 but I think hat's only something admins can do? If so feel free buddy!

Added cathegory 4. Also made the votes cancellable so people can update their votes if need be, and deactivated multiple choicing.
--Admin Tom

Updated the poll options. Please feel free to re-vote (cancel your vote first) if need be.

Completely agree with Tom on this one (and I've cancel and re-voted for 4)!

I rarely bring up my geeky wargaming nature unless someone reveals themself to be a wargammer too. I'm happy to be called a geek for my love of Sci-fi and fantasy films and books, my total obsession with pirates or my dress sense, but I can't be bothered with explaining what a wargame is anymore.

If someone is in GW I'm happy to be "one of them" but at TaeKwon-Do classes or at work I'm the other sort of geek - the "normal" sort!

Okay, NOW I'm a #4. It's still not quite it, but getting close.

Option 4 is to balanced! haha, there are no black and whites in it

so yeah, I think I fall into that as well.. though... sometimes nerdyness can get you a long way, as long as you know how to talk the subject - I know a lot of talking your way out of weird hobbies... since I've never conformed to the regular hobbies (Yurpside, that's football, and the sorts) - Now I can manage to make playing the harp sound like the most rad thing to do ever, and even my stash of games can become a very attractive thing to women - who would have thought that possible haha

But I think that whenever someone has a passion for something, and shows this passion, people will respect him/her for it, and it sure makes you stand out from the ones with the "regular" hobbies...

Be that fullblown geek, and be awesome about it, just don't try explaining it to people not so open for it... (if monopoly is about the longest/most difficult game they ever played -once- don't get yourself in there!) And, try to steer clear from the physical shape the TV-Nerds display! haha, personal hygiene is not a thing to be shunned, no matter how long you spend behind your desk painting models!

I went with #3. I love my hobbies and am not ashamed to show 'em off. Yeah, I get made fun of a lot at work - but it's all in good fun. i give back as bad as a get it - we have a good laugh. Me, I love my Mordheim, Warhammer, D&D, and WoW waaaay to much not to mention it. My friends and co-workers - while not into themselves - are fine with that.

Ezekiel wrote:

there are no black and whites in it

Blacks:
- fatalism: you gave up on actively promoting the hobby.
- other people (the receptive ones) get spammed by you with Wargamology

Whites:
- You integrate into social life reasonably well.
- You enjoy being a nerd.

The problem is I am not a nerd so the poll doesn't apply.

Da Bank wrote:

The problem is I am not a nerd

Riiiight...

I'm definitely a number 3. Whenever I have new people over, I always show them my Mordheim room (with too many incomplete projects...) And show off my ever-developing painting skills. The funny thing is that most people haven't even heard of painting minis let alone seen good paint jobs, so I have gotten some "wow - you painted this?" comments about my "okay" paint jobs.

I guess most people I meet now-a-days have realized that hobbies are hobbies... People in Montana break up with their girl friends when hunting season starts and disappear until hunting season closes... lol no joke.

One guy I met seemed like a "cool guy" I showed him my Mordheim, and he turned out to be a big 40k fan, and absolutely loved just "curling up with a paint brush and a mini" lol, we'd be in the middle of a "grub club" and I'd be explaining the differences between Warhammer and Mordheim (I think at the time, I opened a thread hear about it).

The funniest thing I learned from him was this thing that he did when someone (like my wife) rolled their eyes at our general nerdiness. He'd hunch up his shoulders, squint his eyes, and pretend like he was pushing nerd glasses higher up on his nose. lol
Now I do it all the time when I get nerdy in public

lol

Im a # 3 for sure. I do not hide it nor do I go out and flaunt it, and if someone does not like it...oh well dont really care to much it seems. Most people dont give me to much grief when they seem kinda shocked when they find out. The joys of being as big as I am Even though Im just a big cuddly teddy bear.

*Cuddles Drugart*

Oh he is a cuddly one.

*slips Drugart a spiderman action figure* same time tomorrow?

You're a sick puppy, Duce; ANOTHER reason I'm so fond of you.

i think im stuck @ category 3.5

I really like to talk about my projects and showing them to friends and such. but i never use the term "warhammer / wargaming" when a "stranger" asks what i do as hobby i refer to it as modelbuilding (you know the stuff like revell planes and such) only if they are interested then i say, i paint mini's, throw in the term warhammer and wargaming and such

Da Bank wrote:

The problem is I am not a nerd so the poll doesn't apply.

A snake in or bosom! We must burn the cool-guy! Unless, he can prove his nerdiness by a) providing pics of his models/games b) write his own rules for a game either as an expansion or a stand-alone or c) act as a highly active and important member on a nerdy forum. Hmmm, he's already fulfilled all three categories. Verdict: a nerd, you are a free to go.

I went for 4.

I'm also quite like paluke in the way i wont mention Warhammer unless they know something of the sort. I usually say "I paint models" or just "models..".
I've grown up being just generally a fantasy nerd. Never been into sci-fi much. I love the books, history (non-fiction also) the pictures, the models, the people and talking so much nerdy-gibberish that the larger part of my friends can't understand for the life of them. I found that most people grew out of making fun of me for doing it.

Also, as long as someone doesn’t dig far enough they'll never realise I'm a nerd anyway.. they just think im a bit weird. This is largely to do with me being a pretty sociable guy (when i want to be) and will actively take part in "normal" hobbies that 18-20 year olds have even if i suck at it i still have a go and laugh at myself for being pants at it .

I would say that number 3 is the most like myself. But since I suffer from social phobia I don't meet people who I can reveal my nerdiness to. On the rare occasions I do give a "lecture" it's about cheesy horror movies or books. The mini's are sort of my dirty little secret (don't think people around here could cope with the idea of a huge bearded skinhead/heavy metal guy who paints "toys").

@mr_sinister: where in swe do you live?

back to the poll.
im number 3. totally.
i have my nerdyness totally under controll. but its my grasp from the past. i started when i was 7 years old sitting in with my older brother when they played RPG in the cellar(oh, the nightmares i had). and then it just escalated from there. everything that was geeky/nerdy fell my way. at school i promoted it to my friends but never got the click' i needed. When i started highschool it all bloomed out. met up with my first group of other nerds! then I started with miniatures, magic, mmorpg, rpg, games like civilisation, diplomacy.

back then my hobbies were something bad it costed alot of money and people thought you were crazy that you spended all of your money on crap.

then after school i started to get jobs and money and the hobbies that i have had all my life werent expensive any more! so it was such a good feeling. so when i sat on my coffebreak at my former job as a welder at volvo trucks. I was reading a white dwarf and a co-worker comes up and with a load voice yelling so all of my other co-wokers(20-35 of them) that i was such a nerd and tried really hard to just pinch me down in my shoes.

he didnt succed one bit. i started to show him what i had bought and talked a little about the hobby, he didnt get it for one bit. untill i asked him the last question.
-so now you know how much my hobby costs, how much do you spend on beer and drinks on a whole month?
when he started to count he just stopped and went away.

and today, i stand with my garage door open and doing some works on my mordheim table. and when a neighbour that is over 80+ walked over and tryed to figure out what i was doin. i tried. but he was impressed on the work i put in to the table.

so im kinda open with my hobby!

Got to be number 3 for me I tell pretty much everyone that I play warhammer. Obviously the amount of detail I go into depends on the person.

I think everyone I know reasonably well knows I play.