Ridiculous Magical Item

Saw this on the People of Walmart site: http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=8649

I knew it had to be an item.

Coat and Tails
150 Gold

The naked, moth eaten tails of many woodland creatures are hanging from the collar and sleeves of this old trapper’s coat. It smells musty, it hangs poorly, and it’s…moving slightly?

The coat isn’t exactly armor, but it’s billowy and obscures your shape at a distance. It confers a 6+ armor save vs. all ranged attacks.

If you are successfully hit in close combat, role a d6. On a roll of 5+ a raccoon leaps from the fabric of the coat and immediately attacks your would-be assailant! If the raccoon successfully wounds your attacker, the hit that triggered his appearance is discounted. He will continue to fight until either he or his target is taken out of action. After that he will wander away into the nearest thicket of trees. There are only 15 tails, so keep track of the rolls that you make.

Raccoons have the same stat lines as giant rats:

M	WS	BS	S	T	W	I	A	Ld
6	2	0	3	3	1	4	1	4

Hey, that is amazing! What is the rarity!? Im gonna get my Marienburg Captain one of those fabulous creations!

I'd say it's at least as rare as an elven cloak, so let's call this a "Rare 12."

That said, since it's a magical item I'd just as soon make a rural scenario with the "Coat and Tails" as the winner's reward.

Or maybe a cool scenario.

"RUNWAY FASHIONISTAS"

Terrain:
Set up the terrain any way you want, as long as there is a long runway in the middle (could be represented by a bridge or other slightly elevated terrain).

Set up:
Each warband sets up on either side of the "runway", on opposite sides of eachother.

Who wins?:
The warband who first reaches the end of the board with all of his warriors, or if there are no enemy models on the runway, that warband will win.

Special rules:
Mean Bitches - Any warrior who is wounded does not have to roll for injury, but is instead pushed off the runway by his or her angry competition (enemy).
Runway - A character who falls off the runway must climb on top of it again, roll for climbing as usual. The model may not move around outside of the runway before climbing up again.
Hystericas - A warrior who falls off the runway will be made a fool of, and everyone will laugh and call him/her names ("Oh, look at that plus size model over tehre, the clumsy cow"). As a result, any warrior who falls off the runway must make a Ld test. If it fails, he or she will run away in shame, mascara running down his/her face, yelling "You bitches! This is MY dream! I'll be back, and I'll show you I'm much prettier than all of you witches!"

Experience:
+1 xp - Winning Leader
+1 xp - A hero get +1 xp for any enemy they push over the edge.
+1 xp - Any surviving warrior or henchman group who survives get +1 xp

Also, the winner of the scenario is gifted the wonderful "Coat-and-Tails" from the esteemed "Mordheim Wyrdclothes Collection", designed by the Orc designer Gorebag the Clothier. For more orc fashion (Gorebags Gore-Bags!), check out the Orc Pacifist Warband.

That’s great! Maybe he could be a wandering fighter in a Random Happening roll.



Most of the people I see at the local Wal-Mart, at night, resemble Zombies and Nurgle followers, with Bloated Mutations. (LOL) I sense a big scenario coming on. One, similar to the Great Library in size.

Ah, The Great Warehouse, found somewhere in Quayside.

Of course, chaos-infused. Must tempt warband members to loot it "riches." Picking up/opening crates would trigger a set of random events (from explosions, to releasing vermin, to releasing poison gas, to finding useful stuff). The object would be to get some crates and take them off the table, but the temptation (requiring a Ld check/turn to avoid*) would be to open the crates right then. *Crazed and other "chaos-based" Ld abilities would not help pass these Ld checks. Could be some Zombies around (a few), attracted by the chaos/magic energy, acting strangely like shoppers (maybe even pushing around wheeled wagons used to move the crates).

Got a couple of more ridiculous items to add that I came up with, from a long-ago discussion about heroes having multiple Rabbit's Feet or Lucky Charms:

Rabbit's Feet Cloak (cost: 200 gc, rarity: 12). Whenever the wearer rolls for anything during a scenario, roll one extra die and choose the best 1 or 2 dice (as appropriate) for the result - this is in lieu of any rerolls (none of the wearer's rolls during a scenario may be rerolled).

Beni's Necklace of Fortune (cost: 50 gc, rarity: 12*). The first time the wearer is hit in a battle, roll 1D6 - on a result of 2+, the hit is discarded and no damage is suffered. Multiples of this item confer no extra benefit; Beni's Necklace of Fortune with Lucky Charms also confer no extra benefit.

*Beni's Necklace of Fortune has rarity 10 in Khemri, and is also added to the Arabian Merchant's Foreign Wares table (as a choice between this and Cathayan Silks on result 6).

That raccoon is as strong as a human soldier, I'm impressed.

hey, it's one rabid raccoon! ^_^

Giant rats are the size of dogs. Which dogs it does not say...

An alpha male raccoon from back in the swamps can get pretty big. But 20 lbs. is tops for weight.

Its a magical rabid raccoon...

A Racøøn once bit my sister ...

No realli! She was Karving her initials on the racøøn
with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given
her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and
star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo
Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst
Nordfink".

Mynd you, racøøn bites Kan be pretty nasti...

i've seen that before... hmmm a racøøn or was it a møøse hmmm

Was the Racøøn covered in døø?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU-nzyTwQek&feature=PlayList&p=DDC4D46F20C3AF7E&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=36

Ok, maybe the Racøøn isn't covered in døø, but here's how it attacks:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzI8pYiXjXQ

Oh good god! I thought I'd made a fictional item:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mpthRrd3hA&feature=player_embedded

Haha that clip is awesome