This site inspires me, so I thought this might help inspire others as well... This is my Fluff / background for out BTB campaign, I'm playing Orcs with a pirate theme:
Umans waz screamin’ in the mist below the frozen railing of the mighty Orc Galleon; Da Blacktoof. Kaptin Badrukk mumbled whats he knew in his knower “Dis azz to be da spot.” He squinted again at his bestest bit of kit, Da Compass wot don’t Point Norff. Its needle was spinning and jerking wildly!
“STOP” Badrukk bellowed!
Zogwart collapsed. Skarsnik the goblin screamed & was crushed by the Sharman. No longer held aloft by magical green energy, Da Blacktoof fell with a mighty splash into a small frozen village pond.
Lifting himself off the Fordeck Badrukk roared “We iz here Lads! Drop anchor, roll out da guns ‘n’ prepare to board … dat tavern ova deer??” Thud went the Anchor. “FIRE!” Badrukk bellowed, waving Ed’basha, his trusty Choppa, in the direction of the hapless Uman buildings. ‘Firty’ Orc cannons belched point blank death and turned the town hall into a shower of splinters and stone. “WAAAGGGGGGH!” waves Orc Boys and Goblins swung from the rigging and “boarded” the Tavern!
A long month ago, Da Compass wot doint Point Norff steered the Kaptin and his Pirates aboard the dreaded Blacktoof from the Sea of Teef into a rocky bay. It had pointed up the beach into the dreaded Northern Wastes. The Orc Sharman Zogwart declared it as a sign from Mork, or quite possibly Gork, and with billowing green energy and much to everyone’s surprise, he lifted Da Blacktoof clean out of the water and “sailed” up the beach!
Da Boys all admitted they like the change of scenery, although the fishing was atrocious. All they’d caught was one very upset Rhinox, it had killed Salty Bill and Nog, and maimed 2 more Boys getting it into the pot!
Badrukk bashed two Orc Boy together, breaking up a scrap, and bashed em together again for good measure. “Kill first, den ya can scrap!” he yelled into their faces. They turned tail and went back to the fighting. “Let’s get this ting done” Badrukk resolved to himself.
Only now, after their long and even stranger voyage, did things make sense again. Kaptin Badrukk was in the thick of the fighting. With the butt of his pistol he caved in the skull of a soldier, and with Ed’Basha cleanly loped the head off the Captain of the village guard! The crew cleared the whole village in an hour, and after a good old fashioned looting they headed to the tavern to celebrate.
A very good while later Kaptin Badrukk stood on the Fordeck of Da Blacktoof, at anchor in a small and now very dirty pond with his Officaz. He kicked Zogwart “Up!” Badrukk bellowed, shuffled then kicked Zogwart in the head rolling him over. “Get up ya lazy sod!” Zogwart rose spitting teef and dark green blood. “Yesh mee mershiful Kaptinn” he slurred.
“I knows why we iz ‘ere!” Kaptin Badrukk grinned and puffed out his huge chest. “I iz the biggest ‘n’ badest Orc in da whole Sea of Teef, and now I’m goin to be da biggest ‘n’ badest Orc in dis ere arf frozen land!” His small audience all rolled their eyes and groaned. “He’z at it again” exclaimed the Boson Bludflagg. “I fort we waz ova dis” chuckled Claw the small goblin. “Wot you said?!” Blurted Badrukk, he punted Claw clean off Da Blacktoof, and unfortunately clear of the pond. “Yes Kaptin!” Zogwart and both Bosons bumbled.
Kaptin Badrukk turned and looked Norff “We av got some bashin to do!”
Credit where its due: Thanks to Da Warpath, GW and Toms Boring Blog for inspiration and the usual names & places ...