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 Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden

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Grimor
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PostSubject: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Tue 12 Feb 2008 - 8:56

Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden

30th Vorhexen 1999

Were almost at the end of our journey back to Mordheim in three days I will see my loving wife Annabel and my son Nikolai again. It has been 6 months from the day we departed with our caravan to the south. Our Lord is gracious his sign in the heavens lighting our way even at night.

29th Vorhexen 2000

It has been a year since I last wrote here and again I am nearing my once beloved Mordheim but now its whole different place as is my reason of return. Year ago I was riding home to my wife and son. Two days before I reached the city the hammer fell. I donít remember much after that what I do remember is a hectic ride to reach the city and racing through the streets full of madness and death to my house. Only to find that my lovely Annabel is no more, tough it still wore the locket I gave to my Annabel on our wedding day. It bore no other resembles to my wife half eaten remains of my son lay in the middle of the room in seconds I had lost everything I had. Abomination that once was my wife came at me I raised my pistols and squeezed the triggers it fell and I ran. How I cot out of the city I donít remember. Gottfried found me weeks later wondering in the woods leagues from Mordhaim my hair had turned to grey and my eyes were empty I wanted to die but he nursed me back to life gave me a new purpose. Now ride back to the city as templar of Sigmar to finish his job and purge the sinful in flame. Gottfried rides by my side as are Claus Karl and Josef my brothers from the order.
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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Tue 12 Feb 2008 - 9:10

Nice idea. I like the before/afer effect. Is this the base for a narrative campaign?

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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Tue 12 Feb 2008 - 9:31

yeh you can say that ill trie to write more based on the events in games


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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Tue 12 Feb 2008 - 10:05

That's great fluff! cheers keep it up. can't wait to see the next diary entry.
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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Tue 12 Feb 2008 - 10:32

great story mate!
cyclops
however you should try to add some punctuation in your sentences.
Quote :
Gottfried found me weeks later wondering in the woods leagues from Mordhaim my hair had turned to grey and my eyes were empty I wanted to die but he nursed me back to life gave me a new purpose
Gottfried found me weeks later , wondering in the woods , leagues from Mordhaim ; my hair had turned to grey and my eyes were empty ... I wanted to die but he nursed me back to life , gave me a new purpose.

Isn't that better? tongue
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Grimor
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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Tue 12 Feb 2008 - 10:44

Iím not very good at grammar even in my on language so you must excuse me for the mistakes but if any of the moderatos have time and wants to they are free to edit my posts
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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Mon 18 Feb 2008 - 19:17

Yeah, i know that. I so do hope i never meet my editor in person, she says i always amaze her with my ability to create fun and innovative mistakes. Without editors, no writer would ever get to publish anything.
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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Mon 18 Feb 2008 - 22:58

If it matters, I didn't have any trouble reading your diary entry. Very Happy

Seriously Guys, English is Cristof Von Haden's 3rd language, and he wouldn't know any of it if it weren't the only language Annabel knew. And besides, he needs to work more on his swordsmanship if he doesn't want to lose his other eye (or worse). Grammar is the least of his worries.Wink

When is the next diary entry?
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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Tue 19 Feb 2008 - 3:43

32th Vorhexen 2000


As we rode over the crest of a hill this morning the festering boil on our land came to view, the once fair city had become a place of evil where sorcerers and mutants could walk freely. A poisonous cloud of fumes hung over the city night and day shrouding it in dwaylight even on a brightest day. I led our party behind a hill I wanted to have a one last meal so that the city was out of view. Our last brake before diving in to damnation.
From here I plane to head for the northern gate where the settlement called Sigmars haven is rumored to be located. There I would find accommodations for us and plan our next move.
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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Tue 19 Feb 2008 - 6:29

Grimor wrote:

... the festering boil on our land came to view...
... before diving in to damnation...

Are you a poet or something? This is awesome!! affraid

Very well written, I hope to read some more soon!
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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Tue 19 Feb 2008 - 8:11

Tortiou Tnx for the kind words and no I am not a poet Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Tue 19 Feb 2008 - 9:19

Very nice. Can't wait for more =)
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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Fri 16 May 2008 - 8:08

Grimor wrote:
Tortiou Tnx for the kind words and no I am not a poet Very Happy

You, sir, are more than a poet; you are a born story teller in true bardic tradition. Excellent story. I hope you'll continue the tale when you find the time & inspiration.

Love your Avatar: Vampire Hunter D isn't it?
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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Thu 3 Jul 2008 - 4:03

2nd Nachexen 2000

As I write this I sit on the palisade of Sigmars haven. We arrived here two days ago it seems a decent enough place considering the circumstances. I managed to acquire a base camp for us in a form of an ale house the owner needed some persuasion but in the end he saw the sigmars light. My companions have been gathering information for two days now Gottfried has found two flagellants to join us, Josef found the places where we can re-supply, Claus and Karl have been fortifying the camp. I feel confident to enter the city now. From here North Gate looms before me like a mouth of the beast its old grumbled towers like jagged fangs but I make no illusions the beast is in no way broken and will swallow the ones who are not careful but I have no fear as I place my life in the hands of my lord tomorrow we enter Mordheim


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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Thu 3 Jul 2008 - 7:31

Argh! Can't wait to see what's going to happen tomorrow, when they enter MORDHEIM *gong*

Very moody Grimgor Very Happy Very well written. "He saw Sigmar's light"... I wonder what they did to the poor man to make him "see the light" lol

Only little criticism: maybe you could go back and place the few colons and periods that are missing. Some sentences are hard to read without punctuation Sad

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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Thu 3 Jul 2008 - 7:49

very nice writing full of atmospfere and character ... look forward to following the tale ... cyclops
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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Thu 3 Jul 2008 - 7:57

GREAT STORY! thumbsup
I'm looking forward to the continuation of the story, &, of course the movie.

I can't imagine why a saloon keeper wouldn't welcome a group of psychopathic, fanatical, bigots into his establishmant with open arms. Suspect
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PostSubject: Re: Out takes from the diary of Cristof Von Haden   Today at 10:26

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