Week 03, Game 04: BreakthroughOrk vs. Imperial Guardsmen
“Sir, with all due respect… this will never work! Orks can’t be this stupid!” “Lieutenant, for the 5th time… and the last time; you get dress on that Ork custom and order the men to move, or I will shot you right here right now!” Sheepishly the man obeyed and started putting the made-up disguise. The Captain seemed calmed… “Don’t worry boys. The plan will not fail! I read on the field manual how a group of elite IG pulled this trick in Cadia Prime. The Orks here lack even more brains… you just need to play the part. Remember. Be rowdy, loud and obnoxious. Everything will be fine.”
“Sir…” this time it was one of the Sergeants protesting “Do you think that is worth our lives just to walk through the Ork encampment instead of doing an 18 hours forced march? I mean… I imagine that this data slate of the sisters you keep talking about you HAVE to retrieve is important, but not wort…” his words faded out as he starred at Captain’s Boltpistol. He swallowed and put his mask on. Putting a brave stance he screamed… “You vermin be ready when I come out!”
Outside laid a pathetic bunch of Imperial Guard, dressed in makeshift customs to look like Orks. They looked skinny compared to the massive hulk of a typical Ork and the cardboard around the Imperial issued weapons and gear made them look childish. None the less, the Captain was pleased. “This is the stuff of legends!” With that, he started moving out to the sunset.
After 2 hours march on what seemed an eternity of itch, the brave men surprised a Gretchin sentry. He looked startled and pointed his Blasta at them. “Who be ya’? Me not know big Grotz… ya’ be more Lumps?” The Captain had no idea what the filthy little thing was blabbering about. He cleared his throat. “Ahem… good afternoon. Don’t mind us, we are brave Orks. You know, just stomping around, doing our Ork thing.” The Captain smiled as he started stomping on the ground. The Gretching twisted his head. The Captain, slightly upset said in a loud clear voice while taking his sword out “WAR? Let me try this again… WWWWW… AAAAAAAA… RRRRRRRR. You get it?”
The Grot’s head tilted. “Ya’ be funny… Da Boss not like funny. Da Wut One jas tempa… me no liky Da Boss. Da Boss use me as ass-wipe once. Me wants a nuu Boss. Me betta no say that… me betta tell Da Boss about ya’ funny Orks.” The Imperial Guard panicked and Lasguns hummed. The Captain saw an opening and grabbed the Gretchin by the throat. “I AM THE BOSS NOW! You better shut the f**k up, or I will shoot you on the head!”
“Ya’ Da nuu Boss? Ya’ sure? Me love nuu Boss! Shot in da ‘ead much betta than ass-wipe! Ya’ be a good Boss!” The Captain dropped the Gretchin, who started to make a happy little dance. The rest of the men looked at the Captain for instructions, receiving nothing more than a wink. “See boys, everything is all right. I am the new boss. You are doing a good job little friend! Come let’s go for a stroll AROUND the camp. I think I will make you my Junior General. Would you like that?” The Gretchin was in high spirits… from toilet paper to a Junior General, whatever that meant, was too good to be true! “Com Boss… dis way to da’ camp!”
They walked for half an hour, following the Gretchin who moved without a care in the world. He jumped around and babbled constantly. The Imperial Guardsmen started to become annoyed at their new guide. Suddenly he stopped. “That be da’ camp. We goes arounds it, Boss?” “Yes little one. You are a great warrior! Nobody could have a chance against you…” The Grot looked at him with seriousness and put his hand to his Blaster. “Ohh… except me, of course!” The Gretchin let go of his firearm with disappointment. They continued to move forward.
They could see a large ruined warehouse. From their location they could see him. Definitely the largest Ork they had ever seen. His pale green coloration made him stand out. He was being superbly obnoxious, taking a Gretchin by a leg making him the temptation treat for a hungry Squig. Their observational trance got broken when the Junior General screamed “YA’ NOT DA BOSS!!! YA’ WEAK… DIS IS DA BOSS NOW! ME BECOME A YUNOR FENERAL… ME POWERFUL UNDER NUU BOSS… YA’ DIE NOW!” The Gretchin turned to the Captain “We got ‘im now, Boss! Waaagh?”
The Captain spotted a red dot on the Gretchin’s head… he knew what that meant, but before he could react there was no more head. From the top of a tower he could see a large Ork, sporting a Red-Dot laser scope. The Ork seemed pleased with the shoot and the scope conversion job. He started drinking from an Imperial-issued wine flask… the one only given to Commissars. The Boss was not too pleased with the challenge to his command.
“So ya’ da nuu Boss? Why dontcha say so to me face?” He looked at Warpedfang. “It won’t be da furst time me has to put one of ya’ Boyz under me boot!” With that he took a fairly big cannon… how is that the Orks call them… Shootas? No matter, the Captain was already in trouble. He looked back, and his men had already spread out. He saw some of the officers trying to flank the Orks. Hopefully to attack from the rear and not to desert him. At least he was accompanied by his doctor and his most loyal man, Maverik.
Fairly close by, some Boyz appeared in a building. The shooting had begun! The Guardsmen moved forward in clear formations, shooting back at the Orks. The Albino pondered… scrawny Orks… moved into combat with tactics and purpose… las-weapons… no talk back? It seemed something was odd. A crack of green lighting from the Weirdboy attempted to fry the enemy Boss… but he was strong indeed!
Werzzhim spoke… “Boss, those Boyz luk funny… like sick.” “Drop me one… me wanna see that Boy on da ground!” That said, the Sneaky Boss put a shot on the head of the Ork The Albino ordered. A loud clank surprised them all. CLANK? This Orks had metal heads! The ‘Ork’ took his hands to his face and started screaming. He scrambled his face, and suddenly his head turned smaller. It was and Ork with a human head! He was wearing an Imperial Head-Bucket… but this Orks were new! How bizarre… at least this was the thoughts of every Ork around. “NO MATTA’ THE ORK WITH DA’ HUMIE ‘EAD! KILL ‘EM ALL!!!” The Albino did not seemed impressed, and this gave courage to the others to continue the attack on the mutant Orks. Hearing the threat, the undisguised Maverik panicked and ran away from the battle.
In one of the flanks, Rotskull had laid a trap for the enemy. He had a Kommando be bait in front of their adversaries, while a Boy hid behind a wall to surprise them from the back. He sent a Lump to flank them from one of the sides while he shot at them with his new Shoota.
As the enemy moved forward, they took the bait and fell in his trap. He shot one of the enemy Orks… he could have swore he missed, yet the skeletal Ork yelp like a Grot and ran away.
On the opposite flank, things did not looked good for The Albino’s Boyz. They were hiding inside a building, but the enemy superior numbers took the best of them. A tall Ork moved inside the building and took his long and thin Choppa and cut half the face of one of the Old Boyz. He was received with a backstab from one of the Kommandoz.
Suddenly everything got bright outside. An enemy Burna Boy started cooking outside! Matasano, the Painboy, and one of the New Boyz got roasted. While not deadly, thanks to the trashed they were hiding behind that took the force of the fire, they laid vulnerable to an attack. It was critical for The Albino to give them time to recover.
Warpedfang, always trying to redeem himself, charged with a Gretchin. He wanted to kill the enemy Boss. Maybe he would be able to claim his Boyz for himself. He charged forward, only to find that the enemy had ordered one of his minions to defend him. Without warning, the enemy Ork went to scratch his head, and it turned into a human head! This made Warpedfang hesitate for a moment… he say a little red dot close by the human head, then a shot from afar dropped him like a sack of dead Grots.
He saw The Albino jump down from his lair… he was pissed. He screamed for Waaagh! which excited all the Boyz. Then, the enemy Boss turned around and ran. The Orks were confused and looked at The Albino for an explanation. He walked calmly near Warpedfang and picked up something like that looked like an Ork face from the floor. Slapping Warpedfang in the back of the head…
“Not magical Orks… not mutant Orks… DaBank! Sneaky DaBank. He wore disguise to be sneaky an’ get me. WE BE TOO STRONG FOR DABANK NOW!!!” The Orks rallied around The Albino, banging their Choppas and Sluggas together to make noise. “Time to visit da’ Mekboy… he betta’ have me toy ready. Then, we hunt DaBank.”
========================================================Victory to the White Waaagh!
Fun game! The Scenario was fun… even when we found some possible exploits (plugs already on the way!) This game tested the disparity of Squads…. Earl’s IG had 10 models, and I had 17 models. To say the least, the IG was the Underdog! It was amazing that Earled rolled an insane amount of 5’s and 6’s for his saves… but never for his wounds! I rolled my share of 5’s and 6’s… and that ‘Grazing Shot’ critical is super funny! Basically, if you receive no injuries you have to pass a Ld Test or BELEIV you are mortally wounded and panic. You can recover (by passing an Ld Test)... unless you go off the board! If you do, count the model as OOA, no post-game injury. He saved both Armor Saves, but failed his Ld Tests! Poor recruits!
Although we were convinced Earl could not win, he definitely tried his best. It made for a nice game… even if somewhat short.